"Well That Sucks!": November 2012

Yesterday we started Tucker’s weekly chemo- and boy, were we in for a SHOCK. The day started out normal enough… Tucker had gotten his homework ready to take up to chemo to do (I have SUCH a good cancer kid!) ….I was dressed, but the make up and the hair due did not make the “cut” that morning… I needed extra time for some extra coffee to get me going…. So I sacrificed makeup & hair for coffee- gotta pick your priorities someday.

Dr. Afify was out of town so we saw Dr. Lemons, who knows all about everything! I feel very comfortable with him, whenever AFify is out we see Lemons so the comfort level is strong with him, and like always when Dr. Afify is out of town she leaves very long and detailed notes for whatever doctor is going to take care of Tucker, I love that about her. Anyways, we only had a few issues to bring up, Tucker’s leg pain & multiple other pains- that will be there all his life I’m sure- and other little issues…. Tucker is falling asleep in class at school and when he comes home he goes right to bed, then wakes up eats dinner and goes back to bed… then goes to school and falls asleep in class. At first we (including the doctors) thought it was due to low/bad blood counts, but his blood is looking great- so Dr. Lemons said its probably chemotherapy/cancer fatigue…. his body is worn down- his body is exhausted…. I don’t think anybody can blame him for that- we have been putting his body through the ringer now for 8 years, we did have a 2 year almost 3 year “break” in between cancers… but I picture his body handling his cancer kind of like a marathon race-

When I ran my marathon (yeah for me!- I will confess it was YEARS ago) the start was very scary, lots of people telling me what to do and the “best way” to do it. I was so scared that I wouldn’t make it to the end…. But then I fell into a great rhythm and just focused on reaching each mile. As the aid stations came into view I would celebrate because I knew help was close by. By the middle of the race- boy, I was tired and my pace was slower my breathing heaver and my outlook on “oh how cool this marathon will be” had changed to “what in the world was I thinking?!”…. my pace was mostly a walk but I would try to jog every few yards…. Towards the end I hit “THE WALL”… my “run” was more of a dragging-my-now-dead-weight-legs-behind-me-in-a-zombie-type-fashion but I was committed- I WOULD reach that end or die trying. As I rounded the corner and saw the most beautiful view ever- the FINISH line- I made it, I was alive, I had accomplished my goal!

Now reread that statement and think of how that applies to cancer, anybody’s cancer treatment. We are all scared at the start, then we fall into a rhythm, towards the middle it gets harder, and when the end is in sight its like slow motion running towards a goal that is just out of your reach… just a few more miles…. Just a few more yards…. Just a few more feet…. And then you REACH it, you’re done. Right after the marathon you walk around, catch your breath, your sore, tired, hungry, sweaty- you take a break sit down and relax and enjoy the victory… enjoy the WIN, catch your wind, and enjoy the victory! Then stand back up and they tell you that you have to start the race all over again.

That’s how I see Tucker’s body. He made it through one “marathon” of one cancer…. Was just enjoying his victory & catching his breath- and then he had to start running ANOTHER marathon. He’s just exhausted… but he keeps up his pace, he keeps jogging every few yards… every now and then he looks like zombie… but he shakes it off and moves forward. Tucker is just AMAZING to me.

Funny thing- I had to send an email to Tucker’s teachers at school, it was one of those emails I never thought I would ever have to write- but in a nutshell it said “Tucker may fall asleep in your class, it’s not because your boring, it’s because he’s tired, but he wants you to know you’re not boring.”
All in all chemo went ok yesterday except for one very sad thing- A year ago you all helped by donating to Tucker’s “Beat Boredom” drive, we were collecting all new DVD’s and Xbox 360 games and Gamecube games, Playstation games- one day when we were getting chemo (a year ago) Tucker was playing the games & they were all scratch and the movies were scratched- so Tucker wanted to give back the one thing that he LOVED about chemo…. Playing the Xbox 360 games. Silly right? Keep in mind this is from the mind of an 11year old boy.... and what do they always think about? Games… gaming… ect. So we had donations coming out our ears! Tucker’s school Quest Academy held a huge drive and we had TONS… we were able to donate not only to the Oncology Clinic, but to the Oncology admission wing & other areas in the hospital. I mean it was a HUGE success. Well yesterday when we went up for Chemo Tucker walked over and grabbed an Xbox 360 and the “game book”….. he opened the game book and all the games except for like…..10 games… were gone. So I asked the nurses…. Umm… where are all the Xbox 360 games? She looked at me… looked sad… and said that somebody had stolen the games.
My jaw dropped…
Excuse me? What did you just say?

Sure enough somebody had stole all the Xbox360 games!

I was in shock… total complete shock. Who could…? How could…? Who would….? They stole from the kids who are fighting CANCER…. Not from the mom’s or dad’s or nurses or doctors…. THE KIDS WITH CANCER….

Tucker had tears in his eyes, he had worked SO HARD to get such awesome games up there- and all of the other mom’s with their kids had donated also- we had kids meeting us up there during chemo giving Tucker games… these kids were giving games that was their favorite game that they wanted to share with all the other cancer kids, they were raising their own money to buy a DVD! I mean, it was AMAZING….

And now… its gone?! I’m just so… sad… mad… I just don’t know what to feel… I just feel kind of deflated… and tired…. I just want to crawl up in a ball and cry.

So I want to thank all of you for your games and your DVD’s that you donated last time…. And in the words of classic Oliver Twist…. “Please Sir, May I have some more?”.

If anybody has anything they want to give, please let me know. I’m hoping to try to replace everything that was taken. Please leave a message on the Blog/FB or email my sister Tamy, tamy@teamwilson.org if you have any questions or would like to donate again.

Love to all

Amber, Justin & Amazing Tucker man
Here are all the games and movies collected October 2011