Day 4 at Primary Children's Hospital

Today was a busy day- we started out with an echo on Tucker's heart and then we moved straight into chemo.
now he did have chemo in his spinal tap yesterday, today's chemo's are (they gave me a hand out):
1) VINCRISTINE
followed by...
2) DEXAMETHASONE
and ending with
3) DAUNORUBICIN
and that cocktail is chased by a very strong steroid pill.
The chemo is great (great in the way of GREAT IT WILL KILL CANCER-not great for anything else), but the nifty pill is this steroid they have him on (can't remember its name). Now this steroid is made specifically target cancer cells in spinal fluid and take em' out! He get a large dose 3x a day- now let's all have a big deep sigh of relief- a pill that is going to Immanently fight the cancer directly in his spinal fluid!! YA!! however, the side effects are very drastic, horrible, and just down right- they suck! I remember before Tucker having this steroid during his first rounds with cancer, only for 2 weeks- and they are 2 weeks that i will never ever forget! I remember crying on day #15 because i was SO THANKFUL that the "steroid stretch" was done! But i think the one thing that is going to work in my favor now is i know what's coming, i know how to prepare, mentally I'm gearing up for the battle- and I'm making a shopping list in my head of what FOOD will have to fully stocked 100% of the time for tucker (like POPCORN).

I'm not sure what everybody knows so sorry if i'm repeating myself. Here is the rundown of Tucker's cancer. He had leukemia of the CNS (central nervous system- spinal fluid is what's in your brain.. so that's where it's at, scary to think about hu?) anyways the "brain" itself does not have cancer, it's the fluid in the brain. Now think about this- thousands and thousands of cells that are not suppose to be in your spinal fluid- all of a sudden are there taking up room.. lots and lots of room... they start to "gather" together on stuff- any stuff they can- like a gland in his brain the pituitary it all just gathered there and all around the brain and just kept building on top of each other. Well after a while the physical side effects become very apparent.. have you ever seen a old person who has Parkinson? and they shake all the time, their head never stops moving, their hands don't stop moving, they can't grasp thing- pick things up- simple things like a fork to your mouth, they just can't do. Well that's what tucker is dealing with now because all the cancer cells are pressing in on his CNS and on the nerve endings in his brain, so naturally they physically manifest themselves. Tucker can't grasp a fork, or open his milk- ect- his speech is slurred.. ect. However because of that nifty steroid pill and the chemo- they should right away get in that fluid and kill off those damn cancer cells and within days we should see a dramatic improvement in tucker's motor skills returning. Just today- is like the worst of the worst- so each day should get better and better. I just can't even begin to tell you how hard it is to see your child- who just 2 months ago was running, jumping, playing- now cannot grasp a fork.

It's still so surreal for Justin and I. It's like is it happening and not happening. I don't know what i would have done without Justin here by my side. He has been my rock, my strength, my saving grace. Any and everything he is willing to do, get, help... he's at home right now fixing up the house because before Tucker gets home some big changes need to happen. So he's at home holding up our life... and I'm here holding down the fort. Have you ever seen theses hospital rooms? they are SMALL- and honestly up here- its mostly waiting and waiting for something, blood test- results, chemo or doctors, but the rest of the time is waiting. So Justin has been by my side for all the important moments (all the doctor moments and those are 150% the MOST important time to have 2 ears) and we even squeezed together on the little 1/2 person size bed for a night! Wow, that was interesting! But it worked, because he is doing everything and anything he can do to make this work. Justin i love you, and there are no words enough to tell you that. Thank you.

As for now... thanks everybody for your love and support.
Amber & Tucker

*i asked Tucker if he wanted to say anything in this email to all our friends and family and he said "please tell them all I'm feeling better."

Grandma Karleen and Steve also came by today
Grandma Poulsen and Grandpa Poulsen came by today

EKG

Tucker's Teacher Mrs. Shipman came by yesterday to visit