Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Fuzzy Wuzzy

Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy Had No Hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy Wasn't Very Fuzzy, Was He?

Tucker and Amber came by my house (Tamy) after chemo yesterday. We all got the chance to rub Tucker's head for good luck. Oh wait no we were just feeling fuzz:) The kids thought it was funny to rub his head. Thanks for coming over, it was good to see you guys.
Autumn and Tucker


Amber and Tucker

Look VERY VERY VERY closely and you can see the Hair. I Swear!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

WOW!

I know, I know, not the most brilliant title I’ve come up with so far- but it sums up how I’m feeling, and sometimes the simplest word, is the perfect one.   Let me just say I had no idea how amazing this whole BEAT BOREDOM drive that Tucker wants to do would turn out. Up in my head where  unicorns are real, all politicians are honest and  this is a  cancer free world, I thought – Oh, this will be so small, I’ll get Tucker’s grandma’s and aunts to donate and maybe a neighbor or two- BOY, was I wrong -about a few things - politicians are not honest (GASP! LOL), this world is full of cancer of so many kinds (sad!) and Unicorns aren’t real (sniff, sniff)- well, I HOPE one day that they find a real unicorns (and obviously the cure for cancer)… because I want to own one (what girl doesn’t!), and I’ll name her Princess Penelope, and she’ll eat nothing but glitter and marshmallows. 

I’m in this group on Facebook, it’s a Utah group called Utah Moms with Cancer Fighting Cuties- so I posted in there (there is like 120 members!) about Tucker’s idea BEAT BOREDOM, and if they think unicorns are real (just kidding!) to see what they thought, and they LOVED it! Immediately they all agreed it was such a big need in the clinic area, and one of the mom’s said “That’s the only way I can get my son to go get chemo, is to bribe him with the video games up there!”…. I thought to myself- WOW- Tucker, how did you know? How could I not see this need, but he could? I felt like I really missed something, because after Tucker told me his idea I was hit by the DUH truck- it was SO obvious- and it took Tucker to point it out.  Not only have the mom’s supported me- they were the FIRST to donate! They want all the kids up there,  not just their own, to watch DVD’s that work, and play the gaming systems up there with games that work- its what distracts them from the very serious & scary world of cancer that is going on around them. These kids are amazing- hands down, the strongest most giving lively little kids I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet- and there is just so much joy up there- mixed with some very serious crap! I know that I try to keep that serious crap away from Tucker-that’s my job as his cancer mom- that’s MY business, I’ll deal with the ins & out’s of cancer, chemo’s and transfusion- I want Tucker to TRY to catch some aliens, or roll big monster trucks in a race, or nail a Guns & Roses song on Guitar Hero- that’s his job, well, that and to live, and just keep on’ living. That is why this drive is so important, the DVD’S and the games, help take these kids somewhere else…some “where” fun- leave the serious business to mom & dad.
I meet up with 2 mom’s on Tuesday while Tucker was getting chemo, their kids were also getting chemo- they had brought up DVD’s and GAMES for Tucker’s drive!!! Its like, the feeling of, I just want to cry- I just want them to know, from the bottom of my heart, the last thing you need to do is donate- but thank you thank you- you all see this need don’t you? And not only do you want to make it better for your kid, but you want to help make it better for all the kids & mom & dads up there. Because you know, you know what this will mean up there, better than anybody-Thank you- and when this is all said and done, I’m hoping you’ll have plenty of new games to bribe your kid with to go play during chemo. Someday, its all about the bribery up there.


I can’t hide my excitement over this drive, I’m so SO excited to gather all these games and DVD’S and just replace it all up there- but I’m not nearly as excited as Tucker is. He can’t stop talking about (and he talks- a lot- very fast-kinda like his mom!) and its given him something else to focus on, a goal to obtain. This is perfect for him. I would like to thank anybody and everybody who is going to help Tucker BEAT BOREDOM. I’m so excited to see how this is going to turn out. I am such a lucky mom to have such a wonderful giving kid like Tucker. Having cancer for the 2nd time truly SUCKS… oh it really sucks, but I’m so very utterly grateful to be apart of this experience, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m the luckiest mom ever.


Not only am I lucky to have such a great cancer fighting cutie, BUT I’m also lucky that we made it home in the nick-of-time, Tucker started to puke on Tuesday when we got home. I mean literally we pulled in the dive way, he opened the car- grabbed his puke bucket- and puked- but it was outside of my car-YA LUCKY! He had to up-chuck a few more times, but is now feeling better. Dr. Afify is please with how Tucker is doing and we will keep moving forward. I just love her; she is the best doctor ever.



Thank you- again- to everybody who is helping us- I can’t wait to see how this Beat Boredom turns out.

Love to all, Justin, & The Unicorn believer- Amber & the lucky-kid-who-didn’t-puke-in-mom’s car-Tucker


Too Cute!

distraction works best

Amber's Favorite Picture

Mathew and Tucker (Amber loves this picture)
Sweet Matthew Burr
www.SweetMatthewBurr.blogspot.com
Mathew donating some DVD's he is also fighting cancer

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Happy 3rd anniversary Justin!

 Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary! I can’t believe it’s been 3 years! I just want to tell Justin what an amazing husband and father he is. He came into our life when we were in the middle of Tucker’s first round with cancer…. And he’s been with us ever since. Justin never batted an eye at the cancer thing- he just stepped right in and became my support, my strength, my light at the end of the tunnel… my hero & Tucker’s hero. Justin is my best friend, my life & my love. I’m amazed at him every day. I feel like I ask so much of him and he never fails to step up to the plate and blow away my expectations of him as a father, husband, and best friend. We had a goal, that by our 3rd anniversary we would go on a honeymoon- well, that didn’t quite work out (as I’m spending our anniversary today up with Tucker getting chemo), so i’m thinking we will push that honeymoon back to (hopefully) the 5th year? *crossing fingers*. Justin works so hard everyday to support this family, put food on the table, and juggle the cancer life with Tucker. He is running all over the place all of the time and I appreciate him so much for all that he gives to us and all that he does for us. For the longest time I was in total shock that we have to do this cancer thing with Tucker again, but then it occurred me, I’m so grateful and so lucky that I have Justin with us for this battle, I don’t know how I did it without him, and I don’t know what I would do without him now. He has sacrificed so much for us and I want him to know that I know & I will forever be grateful for everything he has done.  Justin, you’re amazing, you’re so talented and skilled and you’re gorgeous… HUBBA HUBBA *wink*… I love you. Oh and honey, while I’m buttering you up- this would be a good time to tell you, In the caramel rolls I made the other night, yes- I did leave an egg shell in the mix, I felt really guilt about that until I saw how pretty the rolls turned out… so I thought it was best to just not mention it.  
Tucker is getting chemo done today- 2 different ones- and 1 of the 2 sure to make him good and sick *ugh* it’s going to be a long night. This chemo called Cytoxan, will make you sick for about 24 hours after you get it. But his check up today was good. We got to see Dr. Afify- when Tucker saw her in the hall way he gave her a HUGE hug- he is taller than Afify! It’s so cute! Some concerns we had today was Tucker’s small headaches he keeps having, I guess it takes anywhere from 3 months to 6 months to have the brain recover from radiation. So as long as they are not getting worse, we will just wait to see and hope they start getting better. They said they will do an MRI if it would make me feel more comfortable, and I’m thinking no- less is more in this case, let’s give it some time and see how it goes.  Tucker’s in a lot of pain today, so they gave him a good dose of IV morphine, and Dr. Afify just states that he will have good days and bad day, good weeks and bad weeks & that is so true.  
Love to all, & happy anniversary Justin..
Amber & Tucker (and Justin)






Tuesday, September 6, 2011

September: Childhood Cancer awareness month, did you know?

A friend of mine, another cancer mom, recently posted that she went into a store the other day and everywhere she looked was pink ribbons for breast cancer, pink pen’s and pencils, pink this and pink that and it all is all in awareness of breast cancer, but what about childhood cancer? Did you know that September is Childhood Cancer awareness month? I say bring out the GOLD! Where are the gold ribbons? The pens & pencils stating childhood cancer awareness, where are the things and more things…the Gold Ribbon Jewelry? The Gold Ribbon Clothing? The Gold Ribbon Gifts? Where is all the stuff supporting childhood cancer awareness? Look around the next time you’re in a store, I bet you can’t find anything.

One of the most common questions I get is “Amber, how did you know Tucker had cancer? What were the signs & symptoms? “ Maybe had I been more aware of childhood cancer signs and symptoms back in the day Tucker wouldn’t have gotten as bad as he did- twice now. Before I was hit with the bulldozer statement of “YOUR CHILD HAS CANCER” I was blissfully unaware of this life, I had no idea what to look out for and what to be worried about. I was concerned about the normal things that all mom’s worry about- Tucker don’t talk to strangers, Tucker don’t cross the road without an adult, No you can’t hold a snake, no do NOT play with spider they are not pets!…Tucker- time for the dentist…… cuts and bruises, stitches and cold packs, starting school, soothing nightmares & Tucker went through a stretch of eating dirt that had me concerned, the tooth-fairy, Santa Clause, ear infections.. I could go on and on all about the “normal” worries. But never had I paid any attention to childhood cancer, sure I’ve seen it before, we all have, those sad commercials late at night where they show the bald sick kids & ask for donation (but never actually state signs & symptoms of childhood cancer)- and for a brief moment- we feel sad, and then we think… WHEW, GLAD THAT’S NOT MY KID….. hummmmmmmmmmmmm….. and that was all of childhood cancer I was ever aware of. Until January 5th, 2005 & then everything changed. I can look back now and see that Tucker started getting sick long before the day we were actually diagnosed , but that comes with many years of being in this world now.

The one thing I can do to help bring awareness to childhood cancer is to tell you how this all started out… at the time I had NO CLUE what was happening to Tucker but now knowing what I know I can look back to the 3 months before Tucker was first diagnosed and I can see the signs, so obvious to me now, that were not obvious then. I think one of the most difficult things about childhood cancer is the signs and symptoms could be written off as SO many other things, and they were “written off” by other doctors at that time.

Vomiting (what kid doesn’t throw up?- so that was written off as the flu-yes by the “doctor”)

Pain in bones- mostly legs in Tuckers cancer- so that was written off as “growing pains”, I’m 6feet tall, obviously Tucker is going to be tall- so that was a easy write off (yes by the “doctor”).

Excessive busing- Tucker is a boy! He love to play and be rough, all the bruises were written off as just that (also, by a “doctor”).

Constant tiredness- this is what started to get my notice, but then I figured, he does play really hard, I’m sure he’s just tired it goes with the growing pains that the doctor and I had already talked about.

Eye or vision changes which suddenly happen- Tucker already was having eye problems (you’ve seen the glasses? He got them when he was 2).

Now all these symptoms didn’t just BAMB happen one day, it was a period of about 2 months where they started and I took him into the doctor A LOT- but as I stated above, all of it was “written off”- even at one time when Tucker’s leg pains got SO BAD the “doctor” had X-RAY his LEGS to see if they were broke- I remember looking at this so called “doctor” and telling her I THINK I WOULD KNOW IF TUCKER BROKE HIS LEGS! But because I didn’t know anything else we got the X-ray done and sure enough his legs, were NOT broken. Now the last 2 weeks before we were diagnosed I called into this doctor- a lot- because I started noticing all these little purple spots all over Tucker (now I know it’s obvious pitikia), I called and said “what about all these spots? They look like a little rash?” so they said “well obvious it’s a rash, changed your detergent and see if that helps.” So I did, and guess what- it didn’t help. So in rush one night I took Tucker to see a different doctor, and I remember when he walked into the room I said to him “I know Tucker doesn’t have a cough, or a fever and I know he’s not sick, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM! I’M NOT CRAZY! I’m not making this up! I’ve been taking him to see so&so and this is all we have done & all she has said- but THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG, he’s getting worse”. Taking Tucker to another doctor saved his life- this doctor was wise enough and knew enough by just LOOKING at Tucker to know something big was wrong, he did a CBC and sure enough his blood counts were SCARY! Had the first doctor just ordered a SIMPLE little, quick, CBC on Tucker back at the start, he never would have gotten that far progressed, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia is a cancer to your white blood cells, and that pop’s right up in a CBC, well that blood count showed extreme high levels of white cells and extremely low levels” of his red cell and plates- in a matter of an hour had us in an ambulance in transport to Primary Children’s Hospital. Of course by that time Tucker’s cancer had gotten very far progressed and because of that, he was diagnosed with “high risk ALL” on January 5th 2005. I remember before we were rushed out by ambulance that night I had all my family & friends there with me ( I think I called them but I can’t remember), my sister Charity was standing in front of me crying & talking to me and I vividly remember looking at her – I could not hear her talk, I remember looking at her mouth & it was moving in slow motion & no sound was coming out- I remember trying to focus on her, thinking- I know she is talking- but I can’t hear her… and I slowly looked around and other people were talking to me, but I couldn’t hear them… and it was all moving so slow. It was one of the most surreal moments in my life, its one of the most strangest memories I’ve ever had- as I look back to that night at that moment my memory is just like that- everybody was talking in slow motion, and no sound was coming out. From that day on, childhood cancer has been our life. If you want to see how Tucker was diagnosed for the 2nd time (ALSO a frustrating story) you can start back at the beginning of this blog.

My biggest regret back then was not taking Tucker to see another doctor sooner for a 2nd opinion. I kept taking him back to the same lady because I trusted her. Had I known of the signs & symptoms of childhood cancer back then, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten so bad, and maybe we wouldn’t have to be doing this again.

Here is one of the best lists of the signs of childhood cancer I’ve found. I found it at
http://ped-onc.org/diseases/SOCC.html
So read up, be aware- awareness can be contagious… so make sure your spreading it.
Signs of Childhood Cancer
Continued, unexplained weight loss
Headaches, often with early morning vomiting
Increased swelling or persistent pain in bones, joints, back, or legs
Lump or mass, especially in the abdomen, neck, chest, pelvis, or armpits
Development of excessive bruising, bleeding, or rash
Constant infections
A whitish color behind the pupil
Nausea which persists or vomiting without nausea
Constant tiredness or noticeable paleness
Eye or vision changes which occur suddenly and persist
Recurrent or persistent fevers of unknown origin
Childhood cancer is rare. It is unlikely that your child will develop cancer. Still, as a parent, you need to be aware of the symptoms of childhood cancer.
Observe your child for any sudden, persistent changes in health or behavior as listed above. Since most of the symptoms of cancer can also be attributed to benign conditions, the diagnosis of cancer can be a long process. You must trust your own instinct and work as a team with your doctor, using your knowledge of your child and your doctor's knowledge of medicine to protect your child's health.
________________________________________
Leukemia
Leukemia is a cancer of the bone marrow, the spongy center of the bones that makes blood cells. It accounts for approximately 35% of all childhood cancers; approximately 1 in 1000 children will be diagnosed with leukemia by the age of 19, although it is more common in children under the age of 10. In leukemia, abnormal white blood cells divide out of control and crowd out the normal cells in the bloodstream. The abnormal white blood cells are not mature, and therefore cannot carry out their infection-fighting function in the blood. These cells crowd out healthy white blood cells, as well as the red blood cells which carry oxygen to the body and the platelets which cause the blood to clot.
Leukemia is treated by combination chemotherapy and sometimes radiation. The five year survival rate for children diagnosed with leukemia and subsequently treated is approximately 70%.
Signs and Symptoms
• lethargy, weakness, paleness, dizziness
• back, leg, and joint pain, headache, trouble standing or walking
• easy bruising, unusual bleeding, frequent nose bleeds, bleeding gums, petechiae (red pinpoints on the skin)
• repeated, frequent infections
• fever that lasts for several days
• loss of appetite, weight loss
• swollen lymph nodes, bloated or tender stomach, swollen liver or spleen
• night sweats
• irritability
A child in the early stages of leukemia may show some or all of the symptoms above. These same symptoms are also attributed to the common flu; this fact makes diagnosis extremely difficult. Each parent of a child with leukemia has a different story of how the child was diagnosed. But, most parents remember that their child was more tired than usual in the weeks before diagnosis. A child with leukemia may seem to be struggling to keep up their typical activity level or they may not have the energy to do even their favorite activities. Many parents report that their leukemic child had an infection or the flu that would not go away. Looking back, they realize that the child had some of the other symptoms mentioned above as well. Many parents report that they had a feeling that there was "something wrong" with their child: they knew that something was not right but they could not pinpoint what it was.
What To Do
Take your child to the doctor. The doctor should:
• check for enlarged liver, spleen, or lymph nodes
• take blood for a complete blood test (CBC, with differential)
The blood test is crucial to the diagnosis. A blood test is relatively inexpensive, and you should insist on one if you have read the above list of symptoms and feel that your child could possibly have leukemia. If your primary care physician will not order a blood test, go to another doctor. Do not wait: leukemia progresses quickly and must be treated promptly.
A child with leukemia will most likely show a blood test with:
• decreased red cells (low hemoglobin count)
• possible blast cells (lymphoblasts, leukemia cells)
• decreased platelets
• a low level of normal white blood cells
• increased lymphocytes
Keep in mind that about 10% of the patients with leukemia will show a normal blood test at the time of diagnosis. To confirm that the disease is leukemia, a bone marrow test must be done.

LOVE TO ALL,
AMBER, JUSTIN & our long time fighter of childhood cancer, Tucker.