"Well That Sucks!": Aloha!

Aloha! Wait… what?
Check list…
****Sunscreen spf50 (I burn easy, need to keep my whites extra white!), CHECK.
****Sunglasses- THE FUTURE’S SO BRIGHT, I GOTTA WEAR SHADES! CHECK.
****Extra flip flops in case I lose a pair playing in the ocean (and one pair to match each outfit)! CHECK.

*waking up to reality…? *sigh*….CHECK

We start our next 3 day in house chemo on Tuesday, as I was packing today I closed my eyes and I could almost pretend that I could hear the ocean & smell that coconut sun tanning lotion smell, Ahhh..maybe one day. We have had a fairly good week—it was so easy to pretend that nothing was wrong, so easy in fact that one day I almost forgot to give him his IV antibiotic (he got it, it was just really late). I know a lot of people have mentioned to me that its been a few days since I’ve posted or let everybody know what was going on, like I said- it was a nice week and easy to pretend that this whole thing wasn’t happening. Now I’m getting my mind set back into chemo mode (not that I was ever NOT in that mode, it was more like on “pause”).
Tucker has had a so-so week. He sleeps a lot, and he’s had a lot of pain in his bones. That’s a side effect of the neupogen. It just sucks. But we have great pain meds and if we keep on top of it then its not so bad. We will all be very grateful when we are done with the IV antibiotic! That is SUCH a pain.
This last week at work I almost worked a full 40 hours! I think I was about 2 hours short. I never could have done that without my friend Karyn helping me. Karyn has been my guardian angel since the day I meet her over … jeez, 13 years ago? (wow! That long?!). I meet Kar at my first job, Icon Health & Fitness, and we worked together for like 10 years and since then we have both got married and ended up buying houses about 2 or 3 miles away from each other… seriously, she is just right down the road, and THAT is a blessing . Karyn is Tucker’s “other-mom”. I never could have made it through Tucker’s first round of cancer without her, and here again with our 2nd battle, I couldn’t do it without her. Tucker has to have an IV dose of meds around 3pm each day… I’m at work and so is Justin- so I showed Kar how to hook our boy & take care of him and she takes him over to her house each day and between her & her kids they take care of Tucker and the BEST part is I DON’T WORRY AT ALL. It’s like when we are up at the hospital, I don’t worry about Tucker so much because he is in the best hands- it’s the same thing at Kars house. She is my guardian angel…we love her and her whole family. She is the type of friend that I know I can show up at her house ANY hour of the day for any reason and her house is open to us. I know I can call her up at the hospital at any hour and say simply “I need you here, now!” and she will stop what she is doing and run right up (yes, that has happened before!! AND her sister KYM- same thing, one of my best friends who has gone above and beyond for me & came running when I said ‘GET HERE NOW”). Kar & Kym, you will never truly understand how grateful I am, how grateful WE are that you are in our life. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Tucker felt up to having a friend come over and play. His great friend Jade came over and hung out on Saturday. They just kicked back and played games, they were so cute & had a blast! Then later that night Kar’s son, Joey, came over and spent the night with Tucker. So he has had a great friend weekend. Gotta get those in when we can!
The love and support that we have received thus far has been amazing & incredible! The well wishes and the FOOD we have been completely overwhelmed by. It absolutely astonishes me the kindness and giving nature of all our people in our life. I know we could not have done this without all of you and I hope & pray that every family with a cancer child has THIS kind of support and love that you all have shown to us. I have just been informed that one of Tucker’s little classmates has taken it upon himself to raise his own money for Tucker. When I found this out I broke into tears! I don’t have all the details yet, so when I do I will let you know what this little angel did.
Please everybody, I love the TUCKER’S TEAM tags, and then the TUCKER’S TAGS… please make sure you all get one. Every one that is sold is a support for Tucker. Thank you to ALL who have gotten one and have shown your support that way. Please pass the word and share this website. Also, if you know any child- or have heard of any family who has a kid with cancer please please please, go above and beyond to give them this blog address. My goal and hope is that one day my crazy ramblings will help another mom in my position. So please, share it! Pass it on! I have this need inside of me to help the other mom’s & dads. Maybe that is why Tucker got cancer again, maybe it’s so I can actively help more mom’s & dad’s out there who just don’t know what’s going on, but they are in the same “circle” as me. When I look back now at Tucker’s first battle I know what could have helped me was talking to another mom who went through this same thing, I didn’t get the opportunity to do so until after the fact- but there is such a huge difference in what we mom’s see- and how the doctors perceive the situation. So share it, spread it, support it. My dream would be to start up a support group. Maybe if enough mom’s & dad’s find out about this, it can happen. Please help to make it happen. They don’t even have to live in Utah- maybe you know a kid in Iowa dealing with this! It doesn’t matter; just everybody affected by this… maybe I can help. And if I can’t help, maybe they will get a good laugh at my crazy writings and feel comfort in knowing they are not alone.
I sure hope as we start our next set of 3 day in-house chemo, we are not up for anymore surprises. I looked at Tucker and said- OK NO MORE.. NO MORE SURPRISES… I’M GOOD- WE HAVE COVERED THEM ALL. He just looked at me and laughed. Now that I think back on that… his laugh was a bit evil… hummmm…..
One last thing…. my coworker Joell came one day and said to me- Amber, you know a great idea would be for Tucker to make a “Wish List” at Walmart.com, that way we don’t keep asking you ‘what is Tucker’s favorite things… what does tucker want… what does Tucker like…’ it will all be on there & then we can see what he has got or hasn’t got.” It was a stroke-of-brilliance!!! So sure enough I started a “wish-list” on Walmart.com for Tucker. I set it up and showed Tucker what to do & I explained it to him. His eyes got really BIG and he said “anything mom? I can choose ANYTHING?!” I said YES BUT LET ME CLARIFY, JUST BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU WILL GET IT-OK?” he said ‘OK’ and went off on his “shopping trip”. So to my dear people reading this- if you want to get something personal for Tucker…. Please go to www.walmart.com click on “REGISTRY” at the top of the page select “wish list” then go to “find a wish list” and you can type either TUCKER RICKER or AMBER DICKAMORE hit ‘enter’ and you’ll have his wishes. Now let me make one thing clear- I didn’t give Tucker any limits as to what he could put on this list, so you’ll find items from $5 to $500…. LOL
So have fun with that! J
Love to all, Amber Justin & Tucker
Ps, while you’re shopping at Wal-Mart for Tucker, toss in a bottle of sunscreen for me…. Because one day when this is ALL OVER I’m taking the family to the beach! J J/K

March 8, 2011 Tucker at his oncology appointment and then getting admitted