How do you take your soup?

You can ask my husband and friends & co workers that I was nervous… so nervous about Tucker’s big in house chemo that we just lived through. Being admitted for 3 days worth of chemo is new to us, we have never had this much over this many days before so I just didn’t know what we were in for. Think of it like… Yes I’ve had this soup before, but I’ve never had it made that way and what’s all this extra stuff you put in?? I thought you just add water and stir- but you put in all this extra crap and you’re telling me this is better? I think adding water is plenty… what’s that? You say I HAVE to eat this?! Fine then, we will eat it- but just so you know we are NOT GOING TO LIKE IT!
So how did the soup go? Well, it wasn’t smooth at all (see that’s why, ONLY ADD WATER & NOTHING ELSE!)- It wasn’t tasty or great, but we choked it down all right. Tucker handled it like a trooper; he is such an amazing kid. Every medicine he gets comes with certain possible side effects, and aside from anaphylactic shock- he nailed about each other of em’. The one that we are dealing with the most right now is body aches and pains. You know how when you get the flu your whole body hurts every inch of you just feels like you’ve been hit by a truck? That’s how Tucker feels. Mostly in his back, it hurt so bad that I could only gently rub his back and he was twitching in pain. We ended up packing ice packs all over on his back & it seemed to help- along of course with a morphine drip and regular oxycodone dose. Also because this chemo will cause your EYE’S to get infected they had to start him on eye drops every 3 hours (all night long also along with chemo & pain meds- we didn’t sleep much).
Just when we think we know what’s going on- and pretty sure not much else can fit into this soup without it overflowing- the “chef” came in and said its time to add the secret ingredient- 2 big shots given right into his thighs deep into his muscle. Now when I say shot it doesn’t sound that bad right? We have all had shots, they suck but we get over it. When they brought in THESE shots my breath caught in my throat…………………. My eyes got HUGE- its like they just added a whole bottle of extra super hot Tabasco sauce to the soup- I was like HOLY CRAP, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME THESE SHOTS WERE LIKE THE NUCLEAR BOMB OF SHOTS! - I looked at Tucker and I had him close his eyes, he held onto my hands and he took a deep breath and said “Ok, I’m ready mom, it’s ok, tell them to go.” Oh jeez he wants ME to talk? I haven’t gotten over my shock yet from looking at those shots, so I look at the nurses (2 shots have to be given at the same time so 2 nurses were there) and I tried to muster up something to say- but the words were caught in my throat-nothing came out- dang that Tabasco sauce! I just nodded at them and BAMB! they did it. Ugh, it just hurt my heart! It’s hard for me to even think about it. Tucker didn’t move at all he just squeezed my hands so tight I thought they were going to break…… and then it was over. No crying, no screaming, or kicking… he just relaxed and breathed and hugged me and then we watched cartoons, and he was fine. I’m the freaking out mom saying- what can I get you? What do you want? Need? Food? Candy? Drinks? He was like- no, no, no… mom, can’t I just watch my cartoons? I’m like- well sure…. Of course isn’t there SOMETHING I can do? He said: Yes, could you turn up the TV I can’t hear it over your taking. HUMMMMMMM… I think he’s trying to tell me something…..
So we were getting ready to discharge and Tucker spiked a fever…… OH GOODNESS… did you guys know that if a cancer kid has a fever they get an automatic 48 hour stay at the hospital???? So this happened on Thursday the day we were scheduled to discharge….. can you imagine my frustration??? Well the doc said one of the side effects of the “soup” is a fever- I said is it because of all the extra hot Tabasco sauce you put in the damn soup?? And they actually said “yes” and since it is a side effect, they let us go home- hurrrrrray! BUT (isn’t there always a but?) YOU CAN’T LEAVE WITHOUT DESERT. Um, no thanks we are full. Oh? You weren’t asking? I figured….. Fine then, what’s for desert? Neupogen….. yummy Neupogen… can’t we just have cheese cake?
Neupogen is a nifty “desert” that makes your bone marrow and blood counts recover better & faster after heavy chemo. So when Tucker’s blood counts “crash” after this course of “soup” this will help it recover quickly and reduces his chances of getting food poisoning -eeerrr… I mean… infection. This “desert” sounds to good to be true, what’s the catch? I have to give it to him, at home, for 8 days- a shot for 8 days, and the sweet topping -- its a VERY expensive medicine and it cost me out of my pocket over $300 to pick up. WOW- that’s an EXPENSIVE desert! But thanks to all my wonderful friends and family- and complete strangers who donated- I said, $300? Phish- that’s just chump change… (I’M SO KIDDING MY REACTION WAS QUITE THE OPPOSITE..more like HOLY CRAP ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?!?!).
So they took me through the “training” on how to give my child shots when we get home- loaded us up with 5 MORE pills on top of the 10 he’s already taking and finally sent us home… we got home very very late Thursday night. Everything just seems better when you’re at home. Tucker is happier and relaxed and relieved and I’m SOOOO excited to sleep in a bed & next to my nice warm cuddly cute husband. Justin’s job took him out of state for the same days that we were up at the hospital- he got home on Wednesday night we got home on Thursday night- isn’t that just how it works out sometimes? Its just life.
We are home… ya-ya for home!
Love you all, Amber Justin & Tucker.