Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Let It Grow.......

Hi everybody!

Tucker hasn’t been able to do chemo for the past 2 weeks because he didn’t pass his blood counts. His ANC (Absoluteneutrophil count- basically where your immune system stands- any thing under500 is considered sever neutropenia-high risk of infection) had to be above 500 to get chemo, and he just now got up to 750 on Monday- so off to chemo we go! He is at chemo today and my wonderful husband, Justin, offered to take Tucker up today- I LOVE THIS MAN- its so hard for me to not be up there with Tucker,but on the other hand & almost as important is me trying to get a full paycheck especially with Christmas (ugh) right around (ugh) the corner (SUPER ugh!).

The fun thing with Tucker is just this past month his hair started growing like CRAZY- in-fact I think the last time he was at school which was before Thanksgiving he was still bald- with a little bit of fuzz- and now in the past couple weeks its just been growing like mad! His whole head is filled in AND he almost needs a haircut (my opinion)… but the little stinker reminded me that long ago- (ha, not that long ago- seem like forever… but it was just this year) - when he was very sick, I had- at a very VERY weak moment- I promised Tucker when his hair grew back in- *sigh* I would let it grow for as long as he wanted it to *big sigh*…without cutting it- but come on- I would have promised him the world at that point- he was so sick and pale and getting chemo and blood ect ect ect…he looked at me with these big tired sick eyes and said “Mom, when it grows back- promise me that I don’t ever have to cut it again.” Now most of you would think this isn’t a big deal, but one of my pet peeves is bed head or messy boy hair. I love the clean cut look but Tucker wants it long and he’s earned that right. The really interesting thing is its now coming back in a different color. The first little fuzz that came in was just the most beautiful light blond, in fact it still made him look bald- but there was a nice growth going on with that color. I thought for sure it would come in that light beautiful blond- but when it started just mass-growing… its dark brown! He’s never been dark brown, he’s always been blond-but hair is hair- I guess I should be grateful that 1)its growing back and 2)its not purple or orange or some crazy color like that (that would have been fun though!). The funny thing is a couple months ago when I would ask Tucker what he wanted for Christmas, he would just say “I want my hairback”… and he got his wish, Thanks Santa! LOL

Since our chemo was delayed by a couple weeks this puts us in and out of the hospital all through the holiday season- but its fine, it will be just fine.

On Monday night we went with the group called HOPE KIDS and went to the Living Planet Aquarium, it was a blast. The kids had a great time running around and looking at all the fish. It was super fun. Here is a family picture of us.


I will let you all know tomorrow how chemo went today & what the doc’s say.

Love to all

Amber & family

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

It Was.......A BLACK FRIDAY

(Sorry for some misspellings and words with no spaces, blogger is not being very nice)

Picture this scene..... in Wal-Mart , 1 isle lays between me and my sister Tamy but it could have been a MILE for the sea of people made it impossible to see her, I gave her a hug before we parted and I said Good Luck little sis- I sure hope to see you on the other side, remember-WE TAKE NO HOSTAGES!
I wound my way though 1 isle… yes 1 isle -that took 10 minutes to get through (we are talking maybe 20 steps) to get to THE pile- the PILE where my treasure lay- my one soul reason to venture out to this god for saken store, on this black Friday night. (It was Amber's idea by the way)

I am a strong person by damn! After all I’ve been through?! I laugh in the face of black Friday!

I’ve taken on doctors with the god-like mentality-
Nurses who I’m sure secretly are evil little goblins- and the worst of the worst- a child on STEROIDS MULITIPLEtimes and I have LIVED to tell the tale….

Taking on black Friday at Wal-Mart is NOTHING in comparison- I’m sure….
Breathing deep…. Anxiety through the roof… I’m giving dirty looks to the lady beside me who had slippers on her feet & PJ bottoms on with little cartoons all over them… and the guy on my other side is throwing us a look like “I don’t care if you ARE women- I’ll take you out- bring it ON”…. And we all stood huddled, breathing deep, throwing glances… every once and awhile somebody’s hand would twitch and it would make all our hands twitch…. And then we would all share a nervous glance with each other with a little smile on our face that said- ya, not yet…. just practicing. Then in my head I started visualizing the moment when the clock strikes 10pm-I had a plan of action…in my mind, I was going to step right & then shove the cute cartoon PJ’s lady, throw a left elbow and take out the guy giving dirty looks (I had a good ½ inch on him.. I could take him) and then throw both arms over the very small pile of very precious…Paper Jams.
Yes people, yes, you heard me right all of this intensive planning and anxiety was all for the silly toy called PAPERJAMS. They are guitars made out of-non other- cardboard. Here I am planning my battle over an item- that on this night, this precious holiday night- was only$7. *sigh* what we do to save money ….. You would think they were made of gold with the way we were acting… but on with the story…. Screaming shouted in the distance (that sounded more like a terrified scream other than a nice “GO”) the START to this “fun” holiday experience BEGAN as screaming erupted all around me! I dove for my 4 PAPERJAMS that I just had to have- throwing elbows and growling- It took me a minute to realize that, I started to look around.. and nothing was happening to my precious pile of Paper Jams- no other hands were in the pile- …. Hu… I really didn’t have any competition…the PJ lady to the right and the snarl guy to the left were standing there for another TOY! Not the paper jams- so they are going at it pulling down the boxes of stuff that they wanted and totally ignored me- I’m the ONLY lady to venture out to Wal-Mart on this black night- to buy the silly- Paper Jams. So I hung my head, reached in and casually flipped through all the paper jams to make sure I got the right ones- as if I was casually shopping- I got my jams and even had time to think “hummm… this one? Or this one…?” - and then I turned around to go help Tamy- but picture this around me- the screams the shrieks- the noises of towers falling people yelling- oh my it was mass chaos- I looked down the isle that lead to Tamy and realized it was no use- she was for sure a goner! There was no way she would have made it out… so I shouted “Tamy, I know you’ll never make it out alive! So I’m not even going to try! I will tell people your last though was of your kids while you died trying to get them a big huge bucket of Legos”. Oh, but to be fair- she was also getting me a bucket of Lego's- HA! Apparently the deal with the Lego's was WAY better than my deal with the paper Jams- I guess all of Utah turned out to get this bucket of Legos… and I had left Tamy to fight that battle on her own- I am a bad sister- or I’m brilliant! Depends on how you look at it…. Anyways…

I took a step to the back of me and founda pile of something- I don’t even know what it was, all I know is it was part of the BLACK FRIDAY FRENZY…. So I reach down and scooped it up! & I saw another obscure item fall to the floor- as 2 other people were diving for it- I reached down and grabbed it! And then I turned to haul butt to the front of the store- I got 5 steps in my bolt and immediately hit a wall of people!
So I started shoving & pushing my way up to the front to get in line & get out while I still had my life & my precious paper jams.
When I get closer to the front- in the distance I see…. What looks like could be my little sister!

What’s this?! She made it out ALIVE! Oh I was over come with joy & happiness seeing her standing there-victorious! Holding 2 buckets of Lego’s! I was so proud of her! So I shoved my way past all these people up to her side and threw my arms around her and told her I thought for sure she was a goner! So after my initial I’m-so-glad-your-alive and then swapping horror stories with each other & compare battle scars and loot- we waited in line to check out for another HOUR. By the time we got up to check out I was so OVER the whole black Friday thing and wanted to throw down my precious paper jams and leave! But Tamy kept me sane & happy & filled with Diet Coke. (Amber failed to mention that she wanted me to make my way across the store after I had my precious Lego's to grab her another hot toy. I looked at her with disgust! I told her to pick her battles and I was NOT leaving my Lego post for her Crayola Glow Dome or risking my life...Tamy)

And then we went to Target- and that was awhole lot less climatic then Wal-Mart- everything was in order, we were all ina straight line- no pushing and shoving- I sprinted when I got in the store to get the Xmas tree I wanted- come to find out that when I got to the trees-there were TONS left! My feelings of panic and pushing and screaming were leftover in my head from the Wal-Mart experience and I expected the same at Target-but no, it was actually very nice. Me and Tamy got home at 1am and had a great shopping trip all together & now we have a GREAT black Friday story.
  
For Thanksgiving-before the dreaded black Friday shopping story (that was a pretty funny story though hu? LOL I crack myself up!),me Justin & Tucker went to Tamy & Ricks house for prim rib, and it was delicious and great company! I had a blast playing with the kids & shopping with Tamy. Tucker had a great time, he ate all his food and played lots of Xbox and got dang near anything he asked aunt Tamy for- because she spoils him! But just think for a second, in your own home- if you had a child in your house, not your kid, and you knew he had cancer, would YOU tell him no to ANYTHING? And guess what- he KNOWS that too…. LOL but look at it like- it’s the one thing he CAN use to his benefit.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

Now on to Christmas *sigh*

Ugh…

Man, now I’ve got to get ready forChristmas….

If there is a Christmas fairy out there that can sprinkle Christmas Spirit dust on me, I would sure appreciate it- but don’tsprinkle, just dump a TON… maybe it will work.

Love to all-
The black-Friday Victorious warrior- Amber
(and Justin & Tucker also- of COURSE!)

X, Tucker, Grandma Kathy, Grandpa Corky Wilson, Autumn and Aspen

Amber in line at Walmart

Tamy barely survived Walmart with 2 boxes of Lego's! WE SURVIVED barely

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

A Birthday Poem

*warning, this post contains really lame & bad poetry*

When somebody in my family has a birthday I write a little thing about them- but since I’ve been in my “low” lately I’ve missed a few birthdays- every year when we hit the holidays in my family and we have birthdays coming out our ears!
***WARNING- BAD POETRY ABOUT BIRTHDAYS TO FOLLOW- IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH FOR HORRIBLE POETRY PLEASE SKIP AHEAD TO THE END OF THIS POST OR JUST CLOSE YOUR BROWSER WINDOW IMMEDIATELY!- IF YOU ACTUALLY READ THE POEM- YOU DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK*****

Happy Birthday to some special folks-
Who love to laugh and love to joke-
You are so dear to me in many ways
Lets point out to the WORLD (as if that many people read this blog)
How old you are today-
Mom, dear mom- I can’t even guess
I know your old- but you’re still the best!
You have beat cancer 2 times now
And you’re still mostly-kind-of- sound… (…LOL)
I love you so much you’re an amazing mom,
I mean- look at me, I turned out to be da’BOMB
Instead of counting presents I’m sure you’ll agree
Lets just focus on you staying cancer free.

My oldest sister- so so much older than she admits-
Oh, wait- that’s me that throws the “age” fits…(ha!)
Charity you’re older than me, I want to point that out
She is older, I’m younger- here’s something to think about.
Its time to point out all of the candles on your cake
34 years with me as your sister it’s time to celebrate!
You have made it this far, I haven’t killed you yet (ha!)
I’m just joking- & kidding, so don’t throw a tissy- fit..

I love you both, my sister & my mom
I hope you had a great day that’s come & gone.
I realize I’m late in writing this post
Remember, though, I love you the MOST.
I know this poem is terrible but I try to do it with grace
Just know above all- my hearts in the right place.

******** for all of those people who actually read the entire poem, thank you very much- for all of you who skipped the poem and are reading this now- hey, I don’t blame you- you have saved yourself from some horrible rhyming.
I hope you both had great birthdays-
Love you so much-
The sister who can’t write poetry (and is younger than both of you- I don’t know why but I feel the need to keep pointing that fact out)…
Amber
I

Denise....Mom....54 years young

Birthday Girls Denise (Mom) Nov 19 and Charity (Sisiter) Nov 21 Charity is 34 years young

Tamy (green), Amber holding Steelie (6months), Denise (mom) and Charity (Oldest Sister)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I Am So Thankful

I've been out of the blogging world for a bit- please forgive me- its just
As October came and went I’ve been feeling kind-of out of it... and just
down a bit and it took me a while to figure out why- this is coming up on
our year anniversary with Tucker. When this whole thing started Justin and
I always used Halloween of 2010 as "when Tucker started to change"- so from
October- January of 2011 we kept telling the doctors- Hey, Tucker was fine
on Halloween of 2010, I remember because I took Jaiden and Tucker that
night and we ran the neighborhoods trick-or-treating and it was just days
after that Halloween that Tucker started going down hill and we started
calling the doctors asking them about this or about that... and then came
January when Tucker was diagnosed. Well it just dawned on me the other day that I’m having a hard time, now. How odd is that? I'm just NOW having a hard time. LOL
That’s a women for ya, when you think we would not be ok, we
are ok, and when things are ok- we aren’t ok. I'm ok.. really... I’m just
not ok at the same time, how’s that for cryptic women talk? LOL Anniversary’s are tuff- depending on the anniversary I suppose. Cancer anniversaries are strange- its like YA lets celebrate! He’s made it through a year!!!!! The first year down of his 2nd cancer! AND its also the anniversary time for his first cancer… so its like YA, one year under out belt for our 2nd cancer… and 7years gone by from our 1st cancer… and then all your emotions gets all mixed up. Like I’m so happy we made it another year- but I’m so MAD that we had to do this again- I’m so happy Tucker is doing so much better, but I’m just so MAD that we have 2 cancer anniversaries, just lots of emotions floating around (feel free to feel sorry for my husband and maybe send him a card with a monkey on it hanging from a tree that says “hang-in-there”) LOL

Let get to the good news first…Tucker's Beat Boredom drive was a huge success! Holy Cow! We got hundreds and hundreds of DVD's- my good friends Angie had got a 500 DVD case hold for the clinic and we were able to fill up all but 100 holders! It looks great! I organized it (yes, yes I realize it won't stay that way..) I have a cartoon section, a girl section, a boy section, a baby & little kids section, and then a “big” movie section. It is great! I've heard from multiple other cancer mom's how AWESOME it is! It’s been up at clinic now for a week and its already getting well used, as I knew it would. Also, on top of the DVD's we got enough games for the Xbox, PS2 & Game cube to fill up a holder for each gaming system! All new and TONS of games! AND somebody donated an actual Playstation! Super-duper SWEET!
Let me give a BIG BIG thank you to Quest Academy- my son's 5th grade class
held there own SUPERHERO drive with the school and collected donations from
the whole school- OH MY HECK we had TONS and TONS! At one point you couldn't walk through our front room because we had stacks and stacks of
DVD's all over the place. And a big shout out to my friends in Alaska who also sent a box full of DVD’s for our UT cancer kids—This drive sure reached far & wide!
I gotta say we had so much fun going through all the DVD's- Also, Angie had some sweet contact that donated a hundred DVD’s (or more? Angie correct me if I’m wrong) to the cause- how COOL?!
You people are SO giving, this is the perfect time to say Thank you- I'm so
grateful this thanksgiving time for everybody who helped out- I'm grateful to Tucker's school- for my friends and for my family who helped out. You
all mean so much to us. I'm just so grateful that we had this opportunity
to help out all the families and kids up at the Oncology ward, Tucker is
actually excited now to go up to clinic to get his chemo because he
can't wait to play the games and watch a new movie and now I bet there are more than one cancer kid in UT who is also looking forward to going up to clinic now.

From the bottom of my heart- thank you all- and I'm so sorry at my delay in writing this post- I’m trying to get out of the "low" I’m in because Tucker is doing so good.
Halloween was lots of fun- Tucker went as some Skeleton thing, Jaiden was a
cool looking robot and I'm still not exactly sure what Lily was trying to
be. It was great fun. Jaired decided that he was to old for Halloween so he
stayed home and passed out candy.

The past 6 weeks Tucker's been doing home chemo- that’s the time when he
takes LOADS of pills- but it gets us out of going up to the hospital- its
so easy to pretend that life is normal during those 6 weeks- Tucker was
complaining all about school, as a kid should, he was playing with
friends- not cleaning his room- just being a 11 year old boy. Then last
week we started our big weekly chemos- ugh- but Tucker got to take all the
DVD's and games up there and he wasn't bored once. We did have a little
Hick-up in the plan- Tucker's had this horrible chest cough for like the
whole 6 weeks- I’ve taken him into the doc 2 times (just our family doc)
and they have put him on 2 different antibiotics and then we were scheduled
to start our big chemo on last Tuesdays but his cough had gotten worse so I
talk to the oncologist and they had me bring him right up- we did chest Xrays and saw that it’s not pneumonia and they put him on antibiotics again.
His blood counts were good though (last week) considering his cough/cold he had so they still gave him chemo.
This week was a different story- His nurse showed up at 8am on Monday to take blood for a CBC to make sure his counts were good enough that we could do chemo the next day- all of his levels have to be above something or other in order for us to get chemo- but it was a Monday like every other day- so Scott comes over, gets his blood- Tucker is feeling great- so I take him to school and then at 3pm Tucker’s nurses from Oncology call me and told me “Hey, so- Tucker doesn’t have an immune system his ANC is below 500.” My jaw dropped! Anything below 500 for you ANC is pretty much ZERO- like Tucker can’t and won’t (if I know about it) go to school if his ANC is below 1000- that’s just not a strong enough immune system to fight off the school bugs- anyways, I told the nurse “your just telling me this now? Its 3pm Tucker is just getting HOME from being at school alllllllll day long!” She said, well keep him home now, he should not be around people (hello! Its thanksgiving this week!) Or in public places. *sigh* Ooooookkkkkkkkey… thanks for the heads up.
This reminds me how hard it is to plan stuff with a cancer kid- The good news for Tucker and Justin is I had tickets through the Hopekids foundation to go see How the Grinch Stole Christmas on Broadway somewhere in SLC--- but sneaky me- I didn’t exactly tell them where we were “going” I just said – HEY FRIDAY NIGHT YOUR MINE AND WE ARE DOING SOMETHING fun! Justin color drained from his face and he put 2 and 2 together very quickly- he said- oh NO, it’s the holidays- and your not telling me where were are going?! It HAS TO be a musical/Christmas show of some kind!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
But I pulled the nifty little “wife card” on him and said…. Tough we are going.
Imagine the utter relief that filled Justin’s soul when I said to him the other day “hey so Tucker’s counts are horrible and we can’t go anywhere.” I swear I saw tears of gratitude fill his eyes. He gave Tucker a hug and said THANK YOU TUCKER- THANK YOUR BLOOD SO MUCH-
Hows that for an odd phrase you’d think you’d never hear?
I just rolled my eyes- the big party pooper anyways. Who wouldn’t want to see men and women dressed up in all sorts of Christmas outfits dancing around on a stage talking and SINGING in rhymes to the classic Dr. Seuss Christmas tale?
Men are not fun.
Tucker was a little upset- he wanted to go. Dang. Just can’t win.
Justin is never in the Christmas spirit- and I’m not either this year, which is a huge difference in all the years past, well for me anyways- I love Christmas, I normally put my tree up on Thanksgiving and get all the decorations out- and now *sigh* I just don’t have the energy or feel the excitement.
Like I said, I’m in a low- but I’ve gotten a new post up for the blog so maybe I’m slowing coming out of my low.

I’m so grateful to you all-
Much love
The Grinch (Justin)- Santa’s elf (Tucker) and the emotion-roller coaster (Amber).

Tucker

Tucker and Amber

Lily, Tucker & Jaiden

 Beat Boredom

Amber was Paper for Halloween

Monday, October 10, 2011

Creepy Crawlies = Fun (For everybody, but mom)

Over the weekend we took the kids and went to the Reptile show in SLC, wow! It was busy! There are a lot of crazy people in this state that think- that was fun…… hum.
This show was full of a lot of things that give me the chills & that feeling of something is crawling on you and you just want to run away screaming slapping yourself like your covered in…… spiders or bugs…. Or just…. Icky… creepy…. Crawling things… just all over you, No- I’m not talking about kids- I’m talking about huge spiders as big as your hands! Snakes of all shapes and colors and sizes!!!! I asked a guy there, one of the vendors, if these snakes were dangerous and you know what he said to me? He said “No, most of them are harmless, except for the one you’re standing next too- he’s not a nice one and I can only sale him to an experienced handler, are you an experienced handler?” ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! He must have missed all the color draining from my face as I started to take slow steps in the opposite direction shaking my head thinking this guy was INSANE- Sure sure, the icky snake was in a “cage” but all of these horrific pictures started jumping to mind of the snake lifting off the top and jumping out at me (THANKS A LOT HOLLYWOOD!). So I turned around and went to the OTHER side of the show…not that it was any better- in-fact it had the “not nice spiders” on this side, serious people…. IS there such a thing as NICE SPIDERS?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, no no no…. no such thing. They crawl… and they are icky… and they hang from a thread you can’t see just to trap things in it to EAT-
I hate with a passion the creepy crawly things in this life- Spiders (Justin has to come save me), Snakes (I took Honey running once and a snake crossed our path and she jumped higher than I did! So much for being a tuff pit-bull!), bugs- any bugs, anything with legs on it that can crawl and hide & possible bite or jump or has to eat other bugs…. *shiver* I just can’t do it, I can’t even watch movies that are about these… these…. THINGS… Arachnophobia- HECK NO, Man-Eating-Spiders-from-Mars NO FREAKING WAY (I made that title up, shocked? LOL, but you see where I’m going with this).
If you put aside my strong feelings of hate, and general ickyness mixed with the feeling of running and screaming and the paranoia that these THINGS were all out to get me- aside for a minute, turns out that boys love this stuff… *sigh*. I just happen to have a few boys in the house who though this show was awesome (shutter)! Tucker was a huge fan of the show! I just couldn’t convince him any different; he just shook his head and laughed at me. I’ve come to the conclusion that all the radiation he had on his brain must have done some damage after all- AND as I had that thought, the movie SPIDER MAN jumped to my mind, he was standing next to the spiders- for a brief second I thought “hey, if he got bitten by a spider and he’s had all that radiation…. MAYBE just maybe…..” and then the “handler” put a huge spider on Tucker’s hand to “hold” and I abandoned all thoughts of being the mom to a new breed of superhero child- as this- huge thing was crawling on my SON! I wanted to scream…. I had the feeling that the thing was crawling all over me- so I did what any mom would do in the midst of having a nervous break down- I took out my camera and took a picture of Tucker holding this spider.
It went like this:
Tucker: Mom! Look how cool this is! Are you ok????
Me: Tucker, just smile please *click*- now just put the thing back… quickly, but NOT quickly so as to startle it- so maybe just don’t move- just be very very still and that guy can get him off of you in a very quick fast fashion without moving in a quick way as to scare it….
Tucker : This is so cool, Mom can I…
Me: Don’t you even think about asking me for a spider! You’re grounded just for having the thought!
Tucker “awww… Mom! Its so cool.., did you just say I was grounded?”
Me: Yep, all that chemo and radiation has made you crazy… I just knew it and now your rebelling and think spiders are cool and - *to the guy behind the counter* could you please not laugh at my melt down and take that thing off of my child?

We also had one run in with a yellow… odd looking snake…………OH MY…. This guy had this snake hanging from his neck, like wearing a LIVE SNAKE TIE… and Tucker said “oh cool…” and the guy turned around and said “Oh ya, this is a nice snake… here you go!” and plopped the thing around Tucker’s neck! So again, I took a deep breath… tried not to think of Anaconda snakes in the Amazon…. In a voice that was shaking and weak from all the havoc being played on my nerves- I took out my camera and said “Smile Tucker”… and then went and got Justin & the kids and left- *whew*.

A funny side note to this crazy day at the Utah State Fair grounds (where all this was taking place) they also had a cat show, so we thought that could be neat to see all the pretty fun cats. We walked in the door and all these cats were right in front of us… just right there- a lady to the side of me said “That will be $5 to look at the cats.” I said “you want me to pay to look at the cats that we are already looking at?” She said “Yes.” I said “Lets go kids, you guys can look at cats for free in our neighborhood.”
It just made me shake my head.
We got all this fun and excitement from a cancer group we are apart of called Hope Kids, thank you for letting us go, it was a good time and I’m sure I’ll only need a few more visits to my shrink to deal with this all (just kidding), thank you very much.

With love,
Justin (the brave-not afraid of anything tough macho man)…. Amber (suffering from a close encounter of the spider kind)… and Tucker (No SPIDER MAN powers yet… but a hero just the same).




Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Fuzzy Wuzzy

Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy Had No Hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy Wasn't Very Fuzzy, Was He?

Tucker and Amber came by my house (Tamy) after chemo yesterday. We all got the chance to rub Tucker's head for good luck. Oh wait no we were just feeling fuzz:) The kids thought it was funny to rub his head. Thanks for coming over, it was good to see you guys.
Autumn and Tucker


Amber and Tucker

Look VERY VERY VERY closely and you can see the Hair. I Swear!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

WOW!

I know, I know, not the most brilliant title I’ve come up with so far- but it sums up how I’m feeling, and sometimes the simplest word, is the perfect one.   Let me just say I had no idea how amazing this whole BEAT BOREDOM drive that Tucker wants to do would turn out. Up in my head where  unicorns are real, all politicians are honest and  this is a  cancer free world, I thought – Oh, this will be so small, I’ll get Tucker’s grandma’s and aunts to donate and maybe a neighbor or two- BOY, was I wrong -about a few things - politicians are not honest (GASP! LOL), this world is full of cancer of so many kinds (sad!) and Unicorns aren’t real (sniff, sniff)- well, I HOPE one day that they find a real unicorns (and obviously the cure for cancer)… because I want to own one (what girl doesn’t!), and I’ll name her Princess Penelope, and she’ll eat nothing but glitter and marshmallows. 

I’m in this group on Facebook, it’s a Utah group called Utah Moms with Cancer Fighting Cuties- so I posted in there (there is like 120 members!) about Tucker’s idea BEAT BOREDOM, and if they think unicorns are real (just kidding!) to see what they thought, and they LOVED it! Immediately they all agreed it was such a big need in the clinic area, and one of the mom’s said “That’s the only way I can get my son to go get chemo, is to bribe him with the video games up there!”…. I thought to myself- WOW- Tucker, how did you know? How could I not see this need, but he could? I felt like I really missed something, because after Tucker told me his idea I was hit by the DUH truck- it was SO obvious- and it took Tucker to point it out.  Not only have the mom’s supported me- they were the FIRST to donate! They want all the kids up there,  not just their own, to watch DVD’s that work, and play the gaming systems up there with games that work- its what distracts them from the very serious & scary world of cancer that is going on around them. These kids are amazing- hands down, the strongest most giving lively little kids I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet- and there is just so much joy up there- mixed with some very serious crap! I know that I try to keep that serious crap away from Tucker-that’s my job as his cancer mom- that’s MY business, I’ll deal with the ins & out’s of cancer, chemo’s and transfusion- I want Tucker to TRY to catch some aliens, or roll big monster trucks in a race, or nail a Guns & Roses song on Guitar Hero- that’s his job, well, that and to live, and just keep on’ living. That is why this drive is so important, the DVD’S and the games, help take these kids somewhere else…some “where” fun- leave the serious business to mom & dad.
I meet up with 2 mom’s on Tuesday while Tucker was getting chemo, their kids were also getting chemo- they had brought up DVD’s and GAMES for Tucker’s drive!!! Its like, the feeling of, I just want to cry- I just want them to know, from the bottom of my heart, the last thing you need to do is donate- but thank you thank you- you all see this need don’t you? And not only do you want to make it better for your kid, but you want to help make it better for all the kids & mom & dads up there. Because you know, you know what this will mean up there, better than anybody-Thank you- and when this is all said and done, I’m hoping you’ll have plenty of new games to bribe your kid with to go play during chemo. Someday, its all about the bribery up there.


I can’t hide my excitement over this drive, I’m so SO excited to gather all these games and DVD’S and just replace it all up there- but I’m not nearly as excited as Tucker is. He can’t stop talking about (and he talks- a lot- very fast-kinda like his mom!) and its given him something else to focus on, a goal to obtain. This is perfect for him. I would like to thank anybody and everybody who is going to help Tucker BEAT BOREDOM. I’m so excited to see how this is going to turn out. I am such a lucky mom to have such a wonderful giving kid like Tucker. Having cancer for the 2nd time truly SUCKS… oh it really sucks, but I’m so very utterly grateful to be apart of this experience, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m the luckiest mom ever.


Not only am I lucky to have such a great cancer fighting cutie, BUT I’m also lucky that we made it home in the nick-of-time, Tucker started to puke on Tuesday when we got home. I mean literally we pulled in the dive way, he opened the car- grabbed his puke bucket- and puked- but it was outside of my car-YA LUCKY! He had to up-chuck a few more times, but is now feeling better. Dr. Afify is please with how Tucker is doing and we will keep moving forward. I just love her; she is the best doctor ever.



Thank you- again- to everybody who is helping us- I can’t wait to see how this Beat Boredom turns out.

Love to all, Justin, & The Unicorn believer- Amber & the lucky-kid-who-didn’t-puke-in-mom’s car-Tucker


Too Cute!

distraction works best

Amber's Favorite Picture

Mathew and Tucker (Amber loves this picture)
Sweet Matthew Burr
www.SweetMatthewBurr.blogspot.com
Mathew donating some DVD's he is also fighting cancer

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Happy 3rd anniversary Justin!

 Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary! I can’t believe it’s been 3 years! I just want to tell Justin what an amazing husband and father he is. He came into our life when we were in the middle of Tucker’s first round with cancer…. And he’s been with us ever since. Justin never batted an eye at the cancer thing- he just stepped right in and became my support, my strength, my light at the end of the tunnel… my hero & Tucker’s hero. Justin is my best friend, my life & my love. I’m amazed at him every day. I feel like I ask so much of him and he never fails to step up to the plate and blow away my expectations of him as a father, husband, and best friend. We had a goal, that by our 3rd anniversary we would go on a honeymoon- well, that didn’t quite work out (as I’m spending our anniversary today up with Tucker getting chemo), so i’m thinking we will push that honeymoon back to (hopefully) the 5th year? *crossing fingers*. Justin works so hard everyday to support this family, put food on the table, and juggle the cancer life with Tucker. He is running all over the place all of the time and I appreciate him so much for all that he gives to us and all that he does for us. For the longest time I was in total shock that we have to do this cancer thing with Tucker again, but then it occurred me, I’m so grateful and so lucky that I have Justin with us for this battle, I don’t know how I did it without him, and I don’t know what I would do without him now. He has sacrificed so much for us and I want him to know that I know & I will forever be grateful for everything he has done.  Justin, you’re amazing, you’re so talented and skilled and you’re gorgeous… HUBBA HUBBA *wink*… I love you. Oh and honey, while I’m buttering you up- this would be a good time to tell you, In the caramel rolls I made the other night, yes- I did leave an egg shell in the mix, I felt really guilt about that until I saw how pretty the rolls turned out… so I thought it was best to just not mention it.  
Tucker is getting chemo done today- 2 different ones- and 1 of the 2 sure to make him good and sick *ugh* it’s going to be a long night. This chemo called Cytoxan, will make you sick for about 24 hours after you get it. But his check up today was good. We got to see Dr. Afify- when Tucker saw her in the hall way he gave her a HUGE hug- he is taller than Afify! It’s so cute! Some concerns we had today was Tucker’s small headaches he keeps having, I guess it takes anywhere from 3 months to 6 months to have the brain recover from radiation. So as long as they are not getting worse, we will just wait to see and hope they start getting better. They said they will do an MRI if it would make me feel more comfortable, and I’m thinking no- less is more in this case, let’s give it some time and see how it goes.  Tucker’s in a lot of pain today, so they gave him a good dose of IV morphine, and Dr. Afify just states that he will have good days and bad day, good weeks and bad weeks & that is so true.  
Love to all, & happy anniversary Justin..
Amber & Tucker (and Justin)






Tuesday, September 6, 2011

September: Childhood Cancer awareness month, did you know?

A friend of mine, another cancer mom, recently posted that she went into a store the other day and everywhere she looked was pink ribbons for breast cancer, pink pen’s and pencils, pink this and pink that and it all is all in awareness of breast cancer, but what about childhood cancer? Did you know that September is Childhood Cancer awareness month? I say bring out the GOLD! Where are the gold ribbons? The pens & pencils stating childhood cancer awareness, where are the things and more things…the Gold Ribbon Jewelry? The Gold Ribbon Clothing? The Gold Ribbon Gifts? Where is all the stuff supporting childhood cancer awareness? Look around the next time you’re in a store, I bet you can’t find anything.

One of the most common questions I get is “Amber, how did you know Tucker had cancer? What were the signs & symptoms? “ Maybe had I been more aware of childhood cancer signs and symptoms back in the day Tucker wouldn’t have gotten as bad as he did- twice now. Before I was hit with the bulldozer statement of “YOUR CHILD HAS CANCER” I was blissfully unaware of this life, I had no idea what to look out for and what to be worried about. I was concerned about the normal things that all mom’s worry about- Tucker don’t talk to strangers, Tucker don’t cross the road without an adult, No you can’t hold a snake, no do NOT play with spider they are not pets!…Tucker- time for the dentist…… cuts and bruises, stitches and cold packs, starting school, soothing nightmares & Tucker went through a stretch of eating dirt that had me concerned, the tooth-fairy, Santa Clause, ear infections.. I could go on and on all about the “normal” worries. But never had I paid any attention to childhood cancer, sure I’ve seen it before, we all have, those sad commercials late at night where they show the bald sick kids & ask for donation (but never actually state signs & symptoms of childhood cancer)- and for a brief moment- we feel sad, and then we think… WHEW, GLAD THAT’S NOT MY KID….. hummmmmmmmmmmmm….. and that was all of childhood cancer I was ever aware of. Until January 5th, 2005 & then everything changed. I can look back now and see that Tucker started getting sick long before the day we were actually diagnosed , but that comes with many years of being in this world now.

The one thing I can do to help bring awareness to childhood cancer is to tell you how this all started out… at the time I had NO CLUE what was happening to Tucker but now knowing what I know I can look back to the 3 months before Tucker was first diagnosed and I can see the signs, so obvious to me now, that were not obvious then. I think one of the most difficult things about childhood cancer is the signs and symptoms could be written off as SO many other things, and they were “written off” by other doctors at that time.

Vomiting (what kid doesn’t throw up?- so that was written off as the flu-yes by the “doctor”)

Pain in bones- mostly legs in Tuckers cancer- so that was written off as “growing pains”, I’m 6feet tall, obviously Tucker is going to be tall- so that was a easy write off (yes by the “doctor”).

Excessive busing- Tucker is a boy! He love to play and be rough, all the bruises were written off as just that (also, by a “doctor”).

Constant tiredness- this is what started to get my notice, but then I figured, he does play really hard, I’m sure he’s just tired it goes with the growing pains that the doctor and I had already talked about.

Eye or vision changes which suddenly happen- Tucker already was having eye problems (you’ve seen the glasses? He got them when he was 2).

Now all these symptoms didn’t just BAMB happen one day, it was a period of about 2 months where they started and I took him into the doctor A LOT- but as I stated above, all of it was “written off”- even at one time when Tucker’s leg pains got SO BAD the “doctor” had X-RAY his LEGS to see if they were broke- I remember looking at this so called “doctor” and telling her I THINK I WOULD KNOW IF TUCKER BROKE HIS LEGS! But because I didn’t know anything else we got the X-ray done and sure enough his legs, were NOT broken. Now the last 2 weeks before we were diagnosed I called into this doctor- a lot- because I started noticing all these little purple spots all over Tucker (now I know it’s obvious pitikia), I called and said “what about all these spots? They look like a little rash?” so they said “well obvious it’s a rash, changed your detergent and see if that helps.” So I did, and guess what- it didn’t help. So in rush one night I took Tucker to see a different doctor, and I remember when he walked into the room I said to him “I know Tucker doesn’t have a cough, or a fever and I know he’s not sick, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM! I’M NOT CRAZY! I’m not making this up! I’ve been taking him to see so&so and this is all we have done & all she has said- but THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG, he’s getting worse”. Taking Tucker to another doctor saved his life- this doctor was wise enough and knew enough by just LOOKING at Tucker to know something big was wrong, he did a CBC and sure enough his blood counts were SCARY! Had the first doctor just ordered a SIMPLE little, quick, CBC on Tucker back at the start, he never would have gotten that far progressed, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia is a cancer to your white blood cells, and that pop’s right up in a CBC, well that blood count showed extreme high levels of white cells and extremely low levels” of his red cell and plates- in a matter of an hour had us in an ambulance in transport to Primary Children’s Hospital. Of course by that time Tucker’s cancer had gotten very far progressed and because of that, he was diagnosed with “high risk ALL” on January 5th 2005. I remember before we were rushed out by ambulance that night I had all my family & friends there with me ( I think I called them but I can’t remember), my sister Charity was standing in front of me crying & talking to me and I vividly remember looking at her – I could not hear her talk, I remember looking at her mouth & it was moving in slow motion & no sound was coming out- I remember trying to focus on her, thinking- I know she is talking- but I can’t hear her… and I slowly looked around and other people were talking to me, but I couldn’t hear them… and it was all moving so slow. It was one of the most surreal moments in my life, its one of the most strangest memories I’ve ever had- as I look back to that night at that moment my memory is just like that- everybody was talking in slow motion, and no sound was coming out. From that day on, childhood cancer has been our life. If you want to see how Tucker was diagnosed for the 2nd time (ALSO a frustrating story) you can start back at the beginning of this blog.

My biggest regret back then was not taking Tucker to see another doctor sooner for a 2nd opinion. I kept taking him back to the same lady because I trusted her. Had I known of the signs & symptoms of childhood cancer back then, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten so bad, and maybe we wouldn’t have to be doing this again.

Here is one of the best lists of the signs of childhood cancer I’ve found. I found it at
http://ped-onc.org/diseases/SOCC.html
So read up, be aware- awareness can be contagious… so make sure your spreading it.
Signs of Childhood Cancer
Continued, unexplained weight loss
Headaches, often with early morning vomiting
Increased swelling or persistent pain in bones, joints, back, or legs
Lump or mass, especially in the abdomen, neck, chest, pelvis, or armpits
Development of excessive bruising, bleeding, or rash
Constant infections
A whitish color behind the pupil
Nausea which persists or vomiting without nausea
Constant tiredness or noticeable paleness
Eye or vision changes which occur suddenly and persist
Recurrent or persistent fevers of unknown origin
Childhood cancer is rare. It is unlikely that your child will develop cancer. Still, as a parent, you need to be aware of the symptoms of childhood cancer.
Observe your child for any sudden, persistent changes in health or behavior as listed above. Since most of the symptoms of cancer can also be attributed to benign conditions, the diagnosis of cancer can be a long process. You must trust your own instinct and work as a team with your doctor, using your knowledge of your child and your doctor's knowledge of medicine to protect your child's health.
________________________________________
Leukemia
Leukemia is a cancer of the bone marrow, the spongy center of the bones that makes blood cells. It accounts for approximately 35% of all childhood cancers; approximately 1 in 1000 children will be diagnosed with leukemia by the age of 19, although it is more common in children under the age of 10. In leukemia, abnormal white blood cells divide out of control and crowd out the normal cells in the bloodstream. The abnormal white blood cells are not mature, and therefore cannot carry out their infection-fighting function in the blood. These cells crowd out healthy white blood cells, as well as the red blood cells which carry oxygen to the body and the platelets which cause the blood to clot.
Leukemia is treated by combination chemotherapy and sometimes radiation. The five year survival rate for children diagnosed with leukemia and subsequently treated is approximately 70%.
Signs and Symptoms
• lethargy, weakness, paleness, dizziness
• back, leg, and joint pain, headache, trouble standing or walking
• easy bruising, unusual bleeding, frequent nose bleeds, bleeding gums, petechiae (red pinpoints on the skin)
• repeated, frequent infections
• fever that lasts for several days
• loss of appetite, weight loss
• swollen lymph nodes, bloated or tender stomach, swollen liver or spleen
• night sweats
• irritability
A child in the early stages of leukemia may show some or all of the symptoms above. These same symptoms are also attributed to the common flu; this fact makes diagnosis extremely difficult. Each parent of a child with leukemia has a different story of how the child was diagnosed. But, most parents remember that their child was more tired than usual in the weeks before diagnosis. A child with leukemia may seem to be struggling to keep up their typical activity level or they may not have the energy to do even their favorite activities. Many parents report that their leukemic child had an infection or the flu that would not go away. Looking back, they realize that the child had some of the other symptoms mentioned above as well. Many parents report that they had a feeling that there was "something wrong" with their child: they knew that something was not right but they could not pinpoint what it was.
What To Do
Take your child to the doctor. The doctor should:
• check for enlarged liver, spleen, or lymph nodes
• take blood for a complete blood test (CBC, with differential)
The blood test is crucial to the diagnosis. A blood test is relatively inexpensive, and you should insist on one if you have read the above list of symptoms and feel that your child could possibly have leukemia. If your primary care physician will not order a blood test, go to another doctor. Do not wait: leukemia progresses quickly and must be treated promptly.
A child with leukemia will most likely show a blood test with:
• decreased red cells (low hemoglobin count)
• possible blast cells (lymphoblasts, leukemia cells)
• decreased platelets
• a low level of normal white blood cells
• increased lymphocytes
Keep in mind that about 10% of the patients with leukemia will show a normal blood test at the time of diagnosis. To confirm that the disease is leukemia, a bone marrow test must be done.

LOVE TO ALL,
AMBER, JUSTIN & our long time fighter of childhood cancer, Tucker.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Tucker's Post


Hi everybody it’s me tucker and I’m writing my very first blog post ever. So I hope u like it a lot. Having cancer really sucks because you have to get poked a lot, you go to the hospital a lot and there’s nothing to do up there. So I hope you don’t go through this. But I’m still having a really fun time at school.
Even though I hate it so much there’s still some good things about having cancer. Like i get a lot of time to hang out with my mom, toys, money, visitors, games and I get to meet a lot of new people like scot my nurse. I tease him about being a bad nurse but he is actually a really good and cool nurse. And I meet nurses up at the hospital a lot. And my favorite nurse is Irish.
I hope u keep reading this blog cause I’m going to keep writing.
Love,
Tucker.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Headbands

Email from Jealin Dickamore (Amber's Sister in law):
This is my niece Lexi. When she heard about Tucker she was so upset and wanted to do something to help. She crocheted headbands and sold them door to door and in the schools in Tremonton. She crocheted and sold over 40 of them all by herself. She is the same age as Tucker. After she met Tucker she said (exact words) "Aunt Linny, Tucker is AWESOME." She even said that they were going to invite each other to their next Birthday parties. Here are some pics of them together (She is the one with braces) Also a pic of what the headbands looked like.
Super Cute Headbands handmade by Lexi


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

1 pill, 2 pill.... red pill, blue pill...

One pill, 2 pill..
red pill... blue pill
long pill, short pill
its just our normal drill
*** This is a video i took of Tucker on his Wednesday night pills**** its self explanatory.... its AMAZING that he doesn't throw a fit... or just say NO MOM, NO MORE...
but as of yesterday we just added 2 more pills to this- and his morning pills is about 5... so watch this video and add 7 more...
Love you all..
2 posts in 1 day! Ya for me!

Maintenance, not just for cars…

Refrigerators need maintenance
Washers & dryers need maintenance
Things like, computers- phones- and Xbox’s need maintenance
Also….. boys pants need maintenance, my hair needs constant maintenance…. Oh and Justin -FYI the ice maker on the fridge is over due by 2 years for maintenance… HINT HINT- NUDGE NUDGE *pointing over to the fridge* Honey, its right there… it would sure be nice to get ice out of the amazing ice maker-thingy that makes the ice… I’m just saying, it’s a perfect opportunity for maintenance…
Oh and that reminds me MARRIAGES need maintenance- (HA!) But they would need considerably less maintenance if the ice maker on the fridge worked…
To all you husbands out there that are reading this thinking “yes, I do need maintenance on my marriage.” Have you check to make sure your icemaker on the fridge is working? You never know… that could be it. (Justin, I’m teasing- I love you.. I’m kidding about the marriage maintenance, but not about the ice maker… hey, our anniversary is coming up & that would be a wonderful present…ice, from the ice maker...amazing concept I know.).
What is maintenance, really?
Mom’s definition: What you need to do to maintain an item or thing to keep it going, or up and running & in good condition- in a way the ultimate definition of “maintenance” can be summed up by gray hairs on your head- not my head- but lets just say if I did have gray hairs-I don’t- but if I did then I would need to maintain my hair, keep it colored every other day just to be sure that no pesky gray hairs will show though, so I’m maintain my hair-a lot- if in fact I had gray…the point is the constant work at keeping the world fooled into thinking I, eerr… I mean-you don’t have gray hair.
Childhood Cancer “maintenance”- does this apply as a oxymoron? Possibly- anyways Tucker has officially started into his “maintenance” schedule- what does this mean? Well, it means we drop into a different, less “mean” type of chemo - we “maintain” chemo in his body but not at the dangerous high does he was at previously. We will be on maintenance unit we are done done done with this whole ordeal in 2013. Our schedule is set- we do 6 weeks of home chemo, 4 weeks of IV chemo at the hospital, then repeat- 6 weeks home, 4 weeks hospital- ect ect ect. The major radiation that we did let us jump right into the maintenance phase of the chemo course, its like rolling the dice and landing on the “ladder” if we were playing Chutes & Ladders- we just took the “ladder” to the maintenance for Tucker- and what everybody needs to keep praying for is that we don’t land on a “chutes” & have to start over- or back any spaces, this is not a game we want to lose.

We have had a fun past couple weeks. Tucker started SCHOOL! YA!!! He started 5th grade at possibly the BEST SCHOOL EVER! Quest Academy in West Haven, UT. Tucker is so far, doing great. He is completely bald and as of yet there is no sign of growth sprouting… but the kids in his class thinks he is cool, and I love his bald head.
Anyways, we also had the opportunity to take the family and go camping before school with our good friends Tom & Mary. Their son, Braxton was in Tucker’s class last year and got to move into the same class with Tucker this year. We went up to Tony’s Grove and it was BEAUTIFUL- I’ve never been there before this and I highly recommend it to everybody. Wow, it was beautiful. Tucker did great, but lets be honest, the amount of morphine he is on would make ANYbody do “great”… LOL. He was so proud of himself, he walked around the camp multiple times without having to rest. When I got up to the camp he came running up to me and said “MOM! You & my doctor are going to be so PROUD of me! I have gone on 3 walks AND I dint have to rest AND my legs don’t hurt that bad!”. Of course the next day he slept for a few more hours, but a milestone is a milestone-
We have had to do one blood transfusion in the past 2 weeks, but other than that things seem to be going smooth. I’m amazed at Tucker everyday. I could not ask for a better child. Tucker has his last radiation appointment on Monday and it was the LAST appointment. It was the sign-off, we are done with you, don’t come back- type of deal- thank GOODNESS- I really (really really) hated radiation, we all did.
I can’t believe we did radiation and I also can’t believe its over- I don’t hardly even remember July- man, time is a funny thing.

Love to all

Amber, Justin & Tucker-man
Amber & Tucker August 10

Tori & Tucker: August 10

Getting CT scan on August 10

Getting more blood, August 10 (sorry blogger flipped the picture)

Tucker & Braxton eating pizza at Bear Lake

Justin & Amber playing cards while camping


Tucker and Raven

Tucker and Raven

5th grade, baby!

August 15, 2011 1st day of school

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

You Know You’re the Parent of a Kid with Cancer When….

A while back years ago with Tucker’s first round of cancer I received this list called “You Know You’re the Parent of a Kid with Cancer When…1-100”
When I read this list I laughed like I’ve never laughed before- I had tears streaming down my face, the next day my stomach felt like I had done 1000 sit ups! I could relate to every single one of these little statements.
I’m going to share my personal favorites on this list with you, and I also know that a few cancer moms are probably reading this- my hope is that you get that huge uncontrollable belly laugh from this list, not all 100 of them but here are just a few favorite chuckles…

2. Kids with hair look kind of strange to you
3. You can sleep anywhere, and anything that reclines more than 15 degrees looks “comfy”
6. You enjoy the drive at 3:00am to the ER because there aren’t any other cars on the freeway
12. You can maneuver a double iv pole with six boxes/bags and a kid riding, on a tour of the hospital, and make it back to the room before the low-battery alarm sounds and the kid has to pee. (I’m a PRO!)
14. The nurses stop responding to the IV alarm, knowing you’ll fix it anyway
16. Your 2-year-old knows where all of the medical equipment goes, and how to use it.
17. Your child’s first word is a medical term.
18. You keep a bag packed at all times like your 9 ½ months pregnant!
19. You can eat with one hand while you hold the barf bucket with the other.
23. You can read the doctors prescription word for word, and are asked to decipher it by the pharmacist.
25. There are 4 new Mercedes in the doctors’ parking lot due to your child’s payments
30. You have more meds in your cupboard than food
31. You can read your son’s chart better than his nurse
36. Medical students ask to borrow your notes
44. Your child uses Lego’s to build “MRI” machines
47. (love this one) You know you are the friend of a family with a child with cancer when you call to check the chemo schedule and ask, “How will the counts be on the 11th?” before you schedule a birthday party.
49. Your 4year old’s critique of the medical student’s examination skills is the same as the supervising physician’s.
52. You really think this list is funny, when most normal people either don’t get it or start to cry!
57. When the siblings want to know what the child’s counts are to see if they can go inside to eat at McDonald’s
62. You can reset the IV machines overnight, in your sleep, every 30 minutes without waking up once and still call it a good nights sleep!
66. When your kid asks for a Happy Meal you don’t say, “Wait unit we get home to eat.” Rather, “Really?!” (unless of course your kid is on prednisone-steroids-then you say, “A Happy Meal or a Super-Sized Value Meal?”)
71. You make Jell-O with Pedialite
73. Your kid has received enough get-well cards to fuel a small bon-fire.
74. Your child receives soooo many toys while in the hospital that at Christmas time you can now open your own toy store.
75. When you are thankful for steroids because there will not be turkey leftovers after the Thanksgiving meal.
76. Every little thing can make you cry in a heartbeat, but this list, on the other hand, has you rolling on the floor!

Ok, I’ll stop there…. There are so many funny ones. Please go to this site to see them all, the site is called The Never-Ending Squirrel Tale www.squirreltales.com and they have this full list, plus You Know You’re the Babysitter of a Kid with Cancer, and You Know Your’re a Teenager With Cancer.

Tucker has been doing ok.. We are officially on a 4 week break….. my definition of a BREAK and the doctors definition of a BREAK are VERY different. When I think “break” I think, no pills, no doctors, no pills,…. No pills…. (did I say no pills already?) And going somewhere where there is hula music and a sweet tropical drink. The doctors definition of a “break” is for us to not have to physically DRIVE to the hospital for 4 weeks. They said “here I’ll send this chemo home to you in a pill form and we won’t need to see you for 4 weeks, so take a “break”. So your telling me that we are going to double Tucker’s pills just so we don’t have to drive to SLC for 4 weeks?
But in my head I was thinking… Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, not driving in that horrible traffic, not having to battling out my road rage with Mr. Psycho in a huge truck with a nasty look on his face daily……and saving $ on gas!
Ok, DEAL- we’ll take the “break”.
So Tucker takes 2 more pills each day and then 12 more pills on Wednesday’s, that’s his methotraxite (the other 2 are 6MP). *sigh* but a break is a break.

I got a thing to add to the You Know You’re a Parent of a Kid with Cancer when..
*Amber list*
1) The pharmacist at Walgreen’s refuses to fill your prescription because he has to double check with the Doc first because he has “worked as a pharmacist for 20 years and has never filled this high of a dose before”…. (The dose was correct and we got our pills).
2) Thinks it’s a good day when my son can get away with only 1 morphine.
3) Lego’s are being stored in puke-buckets.
4) Didn’t actually have a puke-bucket handy when my child had to puke the other day in my car (but now have 5 buckets in the car just so that never happens again).
5) Got the fright of my life when I turn out all the house lights the other night and turned around and there was my ghost white bald headed kid standing in the shadows waiting for me to tuck him into bed…. (I jumped a mile!).
6) Have a multitude of “back up meds” in my purse “just in case”- ranging from nausea, to pain, to constipation.
7) Me wearing makeup is cause for a celebration.
8) When you’re asked to be used as “training” for the student nurses.
9) Not much can surprise you anymore except that American Idol is still popular.
10) Your child had a blast going to radiation on his birthday.
11) Your child is stumped at the meaning of some school spelling words but can tell you exactly (and spell) what… Methotrexate,ARAC, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, Patikia.. ect,
12) Your child can’t seem to ever find his socks or books, but can find the perfect vein for blood draws.

Keep the suggestions coming and I will keep adding them!
*Other cancer Mom’s List's…

Wendy Burr: You know you're a cancer mom when you go into work to talk to your boss, dig around in your purse to find something, and out falls heavy duty surgical mask. =)

Yvonne Davis: You teach your home health nurse how to figure out the ANC

Love to all,
Amber, Justin…. And my lovable cancer-kid Tucker