P A R T Y!

Tucker’s birthday was just- one of the craziest birthday’s I think we have ever had.  We started out waking up bright & earlier and ran him down to radiation 8am that morning, I was a little sad we had to do that on his birthday but when they found out it was his big “11” day… as he was getting radiation done the teck’s & nurses ran around the place gathering up little “presents” from him. It was cute, it looked like they had raided somebody’s lunch for that day LOL, they gave him candy & activity books and a blanket. One thing is for sure about Hunstman they don’t keep kids stuff around…. I found a little pocket calculator in Tucker’s “birthday bag”… but it was the thought that counts.

We went from there to my sister Tamy’s house- where her and her family threw Tucker is first ever surprise birthday party! It was SO cute! She had all the kids sitting on the stairs and when we walked in they yelled HAPPY BIRTHDAY TUCKER! She had decorated the house, banners & cake & presents! It was a wonderful surprise! So we hung out there & Tamy ordered Tuckers favorite food (at that time- it changes by the hour I swear!) was Pizza Hut pepperoni pizza.  After we were all done munching that down we started to do presents… when a surprise showed up at her door- she had hired a balloon artist guy… ya know, those balloon guys who can make “monkey’s on trees” or a “dog on a leash”… or big silly hats… he was there for an hour and the kids had a blast! I think this guy made everything that he could possibly think of, a few times over.  I had with me that day Lily (my step-daughter) and then Tamy’s 4 kids (yes even her new baby Steelie sat and watched the balloon guy & was entertained!).  So needless to say we all had every shape and size of balloons.  Even Tamy & I ended up with silly balloon hats.  What a FUN time, thank you Tamy for making that so special for Tucker.  Tamy also had a creative idea that turned out awesome; she “made” a shirt for Tucker for him to wear and everybody to sign.  I’m so proud of her crafty side, she doesn’t show it very often (haha) but when she does it is awesome! I think all of her kids have now had her make them a shirt. So cute.  With Tamy’s party & Tucker’s party later that night there wasn’t a spot left on that shirt to sign!

After we left Tamy’s house we came home and Tucker went to sleep- he was TIRED & he knew that we had big plans for that night. Angie- my guardian angel- showed up with her car FULL TO THE BRIMS of decorations, food & chairs.  Her & I worked on decorating the house from top to bottom for 3 hours straight we decorated…. It looked AWESOME.  Angie- I don’t know what I ever would have done without you in my life. I owe you so much. Thank you thank you thank you. 

At 7ish my coworker/good friend made Tucker a very VERY special birthday cake! She hand made a dragon Bakugan battle ball…. I can’t even properly describe it to you. Just look at the pictures it took her weeks to make and it looks like one of those cakes you would find on the cakes shows from The Food Network- it was THAT AMAZING!  Donalene, it was perfect- it was wonderful- it was amazing- it was more than I had expected- you are truly gifted, thank you.

Then after that it was a poring people! People just started showing up! I am absolutely amazed by how many people wanted to celebrate Tucker’s birthday with us. It brings me to tears every time I think of it.   Justin started grilling and stayed grilling for about 2 hours burgers & hot dogs & 1 steak for Tucker! Thank you honey!! Angie, Karyn, Donalene, Charity (my older sister), Lisa Call (a cancer mom from Provo & her boys showed up!!)& my mother-in-law Karleen, took over ever other task for me that needed to be done. The simple things like getting the lettuce ready, getting the tomatoes chopped ect… the tedious things that you don’t think about until the last minute. I cannot express enough thanks and love to these wonderful women in my life. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOU!!!!  I feel so- at a loss to really express my feelings for these wonderful women.

On a sad note, I had hurt my back (probably just the stress) and was walking around in a daze for most of the night. I got to mingle with everybody (I sure hope I did)… Tucker- I can’t believe his strength… he sucked it up and walked around and around saying hello to everybody & making sure everybody signed his shirt… I was amazed; he told me nothing was holding him back tonight! After we sang to him and everybody was full- we moved to the front lawn and the fireworks show began! Everybody brought fireworks to “share” and we had TONS & TONS & TONS! And more than one family/person- bought the really expensive huge high blasting big sky fireworks! THANK YOU!!! It was AMAZING!

Tucker said “IT WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY I’VE EVER HAD!” and that is saying A LOT! Each year I do big party’s for him, I can’t help it- he’s my only son and has been battling cancer since he was 4, it just seems like every year we celebrate another birthday is like a huge accomplishment and something to make a big deal out of.  I have NO idea how I’m going to top this next year.  Thank you to everybody who showed up & came to give your love and support! A special thanks to my brother& sister in law, Anthony & Hailey- they showed up & just started cleaning! Also, Karyn, John & their kids just started cleaning and cleaning! By the time the fireworks were over & I went out back to survey the damage- it was sparkly clean! I was soooooooooooooooooo grateful. I think there is a special place in all of our hearts to the people who see a need and get to work filling that need. 

Look at the pictures and see what fun we had.

Love to all, Amber & Justin & the now 11 year old…. Tucker-man.

sorry guys blogger did it again, flipped some of my pictures and I don't know why:(

The big Candy card the kids made for Tucker
Aspen (yellow shirt), Autumn (green shirt) and Xavier

His totally dorky but AWESOME shirt I made Tucker....

The totally awesome shirt Aunt Tamy made and I wrote "Aunt Tamy Rocks" on his shirt.

The kids waiting to be impressed by balloons. Steelie (7 weeks), Aspen, Autumn, Xavier, Tucker and Lily

Tamy and Amber even got one!

Tucker with one of the MANY balloon creations

The not so awesome store bought cake that Aunt Tamy got for Tucker. We added the Lego's on it to try and make it Cool. Oh that's right Tucker said nobody says "cool" anymore.....Tamy

The "surprise" balloon guy entertaining the kids

New Hat given to Tucker from Mom and Dad

Tucker's birthday Doggy Kisses

tucker @ radiation, that's his face mask that they use to hold him in place for his brain radiation.. yet, they decorated it for him

Tucker and cousin Xavier

Tucker's awesome cake by Donalene

Tucker's awesome cake by Donalene

Happy 11th Birthday Tucker!



Julyy 22, 2011 11 years old! Picture taken by Aunt Tamy

Dear Tucker

Happy Birthday my love. Words cannot express my love for you- and each & every day my love for you grows stronger, and its not just my love for you that grows- I'm so proud of you, I'm so amazed by you, I'm so in awe of your ability to smile each day, I'm so amazed by your bright upbeat attitude your giving kind nature- your sweet spirit that wants to play and laugh and live your life to the fullest. 

If you would have asked me when you were born- mom, would I ever have cancer? I would have said NO WAY! NO WAY WOULD MY ANGEL HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT.

And Then we did....  I was overwhelmed by your accepting nature, your love for life- I seriously believe that no other child could have handled cancer the way you did the first time. You never questioned anything, you do anything and everything that was asked of you- and you did WONDERFUL- I am so proud of you, You went through so much at such a young age but you made it seem so easy.

If you would have asked me when you were in remission- Mom, would I ever have cancer again? I would have said... NO WAY! NO WAY WOULD MY ANGEL HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT- AGAIN. 

But here we are, battling it again- and I'm amazed AGAIN by your accepting nature, your love for life, your passion for living, your funny sense of humor (obviously gotten from me), your mellow attitude and  again, accepting everything we have to put you through without hesitation.  Sure you have more questions this time around- but who wouldn't, I have a MILLION questions and they all start with WHY... WHY... WHY... ? And even though I can't give you the answers you want to hear or the answer I want to hear..... you just take it, and move on. I'm amazed by you. I'm so grateful for you.  Tucker, you are my one and only and never in a million years would i want it any other way. My life is perfect because I have you & Justin in it. What ever other trials life has in store for us, we will suck it up- and make our way through it- but rest assure we WILL make it through it, there are no other options. Happy birthday my darling.... you started out a big fat screaming baby and now your growing up to be such a young wonderful man. Please don't grow up to fast, please? I love you.

Mom.

Birthday/Yearly Pictures of Tucker!!!

July 22, 2000 Baby Tucker 10 pounds 6 ounces

1 year old Tucker 2001

2002 2 year old Tucker (pre-glasses)

2003 Tucker 2-3 years old

October 2004 4 years old

August 2005 1st round of Cancer Tucker 5 years old

August 2005 1st round of Cancer 5 years old

February 2006 5 1/2 years old

October 2006 6 years old with Amber

July 22, 2006 6 year old birthday

September 4, 2007 Make a Wish Trip to Disney World 7 years old

February 2008 7 1/2 years old

September 13, 2008 Amber & Justin's Wedding 8 years old

June 2009 Tucker 9 years old

July 22, 2009 9th Birthday with new puppy Raven

July 22, 2010 Cowabunga Bay Party 10 years old

October 2010 fall Picture right before relapse

It Was a No-Make-Up Day!

Every woman can relate to a no-make-up day. You get up & out of bed, you get your kids up, you didn’t sleep good, you have a grumpy husband, the dryer didn’t dry all your cloths now they are damp & wrinkled- the shirt you wanted to wear was in that batch- your out of creamer for your coffee, the garbage didn’t get taken out, the dogs were out of food, your kid is extra grumpy and complaining that he didn’t get enough sleep, the dishes weren’t done, the floors not swept, there are fly’s in the house and I’m pretty sure I just threw a red shirt in with the white towels in the wash-DANG-.... I burnt the toast, and ran out of butter anyways…. No orange juice was left, yet the container was still in the fridge…..

TUCKER, take your pills…now I need to rush and….

Feed the dogs…

Feed the Tucker…

Take out the trash…

Kill some fly’s…

Comfort complaining kid…

Pet the whining dogs…

Check the time- DANG, were late!

Double check the oven, yes its off- rush out the door, get in the car… DANG, ran back inside, grab the kid…  (as if I could forget him… but there are some days..), rush back out to the car- got the Tucker, get in car- DANG- need car keys… RUSH back inside the house- grab the keys- out the door… time to rush rush rush…get half way to SLC…. And DANG- I forgot to put on make up
*sigh*.
It was a no-make-up-day for sure.

I think it’s a telling sign when you see a mom at a hospital with no makeup on, to take some precautions around her. Handle her with care and be cautious….
1- Don’t point out she doesn’t have make up on- yes we know.

2- Don’t tell her she looks tired, please LIE and tell her she looks wonderful

3- Its probably best not to approach this women at ALL just to be on the safe side. And for those unfortunate people who do have to approach us- do so with caution…. And with some chocolate- and please don’t make any sudden movements….

4- Don’t point out the big bags under her eyes (LIE TO US-BETTER YET, DON’T MENTION IT- that’s the safest way)

5- Don’t ask us how our day is going- if we don’t have makeup on- then it didn’t start out great and it’s probably gotten worse- it may be a better day if you have chocolate- do you have some chocolate?

Radiation this month has caused a lot of no-make-up-days for me. Its been a hard month of daily trips to SLC is just hard on us & especially on Tucker. It’s caused a lot of jumbling work schedules and radiation schedules and chemo schedules….just to clarify, Tucker is getting radiation done at the Huntsman Cancer Institute that is directly behind Primary Children’s Hospital in SLC. The Huntsman is a beautiful hospital, but- they lack the basic ability to STAY ON SCHEDULE. We have a scheduled time daily for Tucker’s radiation at 4:30pm. For most days we show up at 3-3:30pm just so we are not late, and they are ALWAYS running behind schedule! There have been days when he didn’t get seen until 5:30 or 6pm! One of the most annoying things is waiting- when you were on time, you were prompt- you were extra cautious and showed up early- and then you have to wait HOURS! Ugh! That just tick’s me off. Tucker has the patients of a 10 year old- so that’s “little to none”. At this point we only have 6 days left- and I CAN’T WAIT for this to be over!

Justin & I have been trading off days on taking Tucker up, I went yesterday, Justin went today- and its been working great.. Karyn also had a day off of work last week and she took Tucker up- it was a huge help. Tori (Karyn & John’s daughter) has been going up with Tucker almost everyday- she is HEAVEN SENT! She helps entertain Tucker & just listing to him talk & talk & complain, or plays games with him, or just bugs him- but even that gives him something to do- bug her back! On one of our long waiting days when radiation was like 2 hours behind- she sat and played UNO with Tucker for what had to be the worlds LONGEST game of UNO I’ve ever seen- I told them if the just both stopped cheating then the game might actually END… 

I decided to trade Tucker’s 4:30pm time slot for 8am, so I showed up at 8am yesterday (Monday) and they had us scheduled to start the 8am slot on Wednesday….. see what I mean? Its been like a scheduling nightmare with them every time I turn around! But the lady looked at me yesterday, probably noticed my lack of make-up, she offered me some chocolate, and promised to get Tucker right in.

She must understand the no-make-up-day.

On the bright side, this Friday is Tucker’s 11th birthday. He has been bouncing off the walls so excited. I can’t believe my baby is going to be 11! Time sure is flying fast. We are having a BBQ & fireworks party at our house on Friday and my guardian angel ANGIE SANDERSON has been planning the whole thing for me! –THANK YOU ANGIE! I COULD NOT DO THIS WITHOUT YOU!!!!

I’ll take lots of pictures and let you know how it goes.

Love to all- Amber (yes, I have make-up on today), Justin (look out! He doesn’t have his makeup on today! LOL ) and Tucker- my almost 11 year old boy.

Tamy's Post*** It was a make up day for me and I still had a look that said *Approach With Caution*. Amber, Tucker and Tori came over around 9:30am and we decided to take a trip to the Living Planet Aquarium between Tuckers Radiation appointment and Chemo appointment. We loaded all the kids in the suburban, stopped by McDonald's to load up on carbs and caffeine and went to the aquarium. The kids had fun and it was pretty empty which was nice and the fish were being feed and were active which was fun to see. We had a little issue trying to get out without buying the kids toys from the gift shop. I was successful, Amber was not, lol. I believe Tucker left with a giant snake. Then it was back to my house where I turned into a Short Order Cook. I believe I made every kid including Amber something different to eat and boy did we eat. LOL. Tori and Amber ran to Target so Tori could get a Secret gift for girls camp and I helped her make it cute. Thanks for coming and hanging I really did have fun. Tamy, Aspen, Autumn, Xavier and Steelie

Tucker and Tori at Radiation

Xavier, Autumn, Tucker and Aspen in front of the penguins

Tamy & Amber we were trying to get a good picture

Amber and Tucker

Tucker, Aspen, Autumn, Xavier, Tori and Amber swimming in the boat

Chemotherapy & Radiation....It's like Strawberry Ice-Cream & Pickles

Aluminum foil… and microwaves…

Honesty… and politics…

Julia Roberts.. and Lyle Lovett

Dictionary’s…and teenagers…

Cats… and water… (They REALLY don’t go together, but when it does happen.. it’s very funny LOL)

Children… and cancer…

Green Eggs & Ham.. (LOL –it totally goes in this list!)

So today is the first day of our, what I like to call “wrong paring”. I honestly think that doing either chemo or radiation is enough for anybody out there, and that its just wrong to do both at the same time. Medically is it wrong? Of course not, we wouldn’t be doing it if it was wrong or it wasn’t safe…. I’m just throwing a fit right now because I’m scared. It just seems like SO much in one day. I mean a day long treatment of chemo is enough for anybody … and then to ask them to squeeze in radiation? Just seems wrong, but its right- its just a lot for the mind to absorb, correction….its a lot for MY mind to absorb… we all know my mind works WAY different than most, this blog is an excellent example of that.
I’m having a hard time putting the 2 situations in my head together, chemotherapy & radiation- but I have a lot of problems putting things together in my head that I think should not go together, yet DO go together (yes, my personal opinions follows… please skip to the next paragraph if you don’t want to read my mental derailment),

*I don’t like meshing colored play dough with other different colored play dough they should never go together….

*I don’t think BBQ potato chips should be eaten with PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY SANDWICHES (*JUSTIN, I’m looking at you*),

*me & directions (got lost a few times last week with the so-called “directions”… whatever MAP QUEST! That was hard to find! Your “map” showed a straight LINE… LIAR! LOL)

*I don’t think Elmer’s glue and 2year old kids go together………

The point of my crazy ramblings is that even though I don’t think they go together, eventually they do- Justin eats PB&J with BBQ chips (nope, not kidding), I’ve seen plenty of 2 year olds glue in their mouth, hair, fingers & clothes… and I’m the only person on this earth that thinks colored play dough should not touch each other, which makes me feel like I’M wrong on that count… but things come together eventually (quicker if you have a 2year old with glue.. HA-HA)… I don’t think me and DIRECTIONS will ever mesh… but honestly every once and a while I get it right- except for last week, I finally broke down and admitted to Justin via cell phone, that I was hopelessly lost (I turned left instead of right & ended up in a different town- doesn’t everybody make that mistake?) and then finally Chemotherapy and Radiation… a very un-fun paring - kinda like- Freddy vs Jason ( ya know, Freddy Krueger & Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th scary paring!!!!) …. But the point being (yes yes, I’m making it) it’s a pairing non-the-less in our life, no not the Freddy Krueger thing *shutter*… the chemo & radiation thing…

Tucker did great- day 1 of 16, under our belts. His blood counts were great! He took the chemo great! I kept him on a steady dose of anti-anxiety meds today so he was extra loopy. I know you all want to hear about how the first radiation went… ya I can see how all my ‘blah,blah,blah’ about chemo could get boring.. LOL-

Radiation- nope I still don’t quite understand how it works or what it does, but we did it. They strapped on Tucker’s mask and lock him to the table… they (about 3 techs/nurses) get out their sharpie markers and mark all over his body… I think in August, when this is all over, at that time is when I’ll try to clean off all the black sharpie marks on him… until then, heck I don’t care.. Tucker here’s your own Sharpie… write your radiation techs a big message right on your stomach telling them what you think of it…. And lets surprise them tomorrow when they lay you out on the table and lift up your shirt…….. LOL, can’t you just imagine it? You’re lying on the table and a tech lifts up your shirt and he see’s this big message I HATE RADIATION, THIS IS NOT FUN- PLEASE BRIBE ME WITH CANDY- IT WILL GO SMOOTHER FOR BOTH OF US

Ok, I’m going to have to give that a try…. That was a brilliant idea! Man, I amaze myself. We ran into a couple snags today, but we got it done. It was quick also! Took about 15 minutes, I was surprised. His tummy hurts and he has a headache. Justin is taking him up tomorrow (Wednesday) for round 2. We have Tori, Karyn & John’s daughter staying with us now helping me watch Tucker, I’m very grateful. 
And I gotta wrap this up…. Poor Tucker has just started puking….

Love to all Amber, Justin and our strong kid….Tucker

Tucker at Chemo

Chemo

Tucker Getting Ready for Radiation

Tucker ready for radiation, but trying to forget about the big machine looming over his head...

This is the sharpie art work from the radiation techs today...

A HUGE thank you to 97.5 The Blaze

Today Justin was on 97.5 The Blaze to promote the benefit concert. Thank you so much to The Blaze for the generous gift of air time. For more information about The Blaze, go to their website at http://www.975theblaze.com/home or their facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/TheBlaze975.