***typed out by mom***
Tucker: Mom, I’m gonna fart in a minute.
Me- Wait! What?! OH MY GOSH WHAT WAS THAT?!!! ARE YOU OK???!!
Tucker: ****laughing hysterically*** I warned you.
Me: OK, lets get on with this Blog Post to all your friends.
Tucker: ***still laughing***
Me: I will type out anything you want to say- you say it I’ll type it.
Tucker: OK.
From Tucker to the world: I don’t know how I feel this whole thing is just weird. Cancer sucks. Thanks for all the support and money and food and toys and all your HOPE- because everybody has been hoping for me to make it through and I know you have all been praying for me for HOPE. I think you people are really kind and sweet and caring and nice. I feel happy right now *Tucker started to cry-* that everybody believes in me *Tucker is crying pretty hard*…*few minutes later calm tucker* I really hate my pills that I take, they make me cry, they make it hard for me to breath a bit. I wish I could swim & have fun- or have a sleep over at one of my friend’s house. I'm about to go to the hospital to get chemo for 3 days and I think that really sucks. I think the only good thing about going to the hospital for 3 days is the good food I get, and a big comfy bed. My mom sleeps on a hard bed-ha ha to bad for you, MOM! . I really hate the hard bed that she has to use. I don’t get why they don’t make them softer for the mom’s up there. I miss all my friends at school, I miss playing outside and I got a brand new bike for Christmas that I haven’t even tried it out yet, I wish I could ride my new bike, but my legs hurt to bad and I’m too sick and tired. I think by the time I can ride my bike I’ll need a bigger bike. TUCKER LOOKS AT MOM: Hey mom, I’m going to fart again..
MOM: WHAT?! SERIOUS? WHAT WAS….. OH MY GOSH! TUCKER ITS SO HARD TO WRITE THIS UP WHEN YOU MAKE IT HARD TO BREATH!!!! THIS IS A DANGEROUS WORK ENVIRONMENT!!! I NEED A MASK!!!
TUCKER: ***laughing hysterically****. Hey mom, remember I want Wendy’s Chicken nuggets to eat tomorrow. I swear they are so soft and don’t hurt my mouth sores. I want everybody to know that Wendy’s chicken nuggets taste really good. I love McDonald's hamburgers but I can’t really eat those right now because of my mouth sores. ***LAUGHING,**** I just farted again, (mom: OH MY GOSH… I THINK WE ARE ABOUT DONE HERE!). Some of my favorite’s things are Lego's Ninja Go, I want more! I love the Yankees and my dog Raven-and I like Honey, but she bugs me a lot. I didn’t really like Toy Story 3 that much, not really. I wish everyday was Saturday. I think being bald kinda sucks, and I looked better and older with hair. To Grandma Karleen, thank you for helping take care of me, I love you and thank you for all the food, all the Wendy’s you got for me. To the best TEACHER EVER Mrs. Shipman, thank you for coming over and teaching me please tell my class I don’t want them to be worried, I’m OK. I just miss them, and I’m just going back up for more chemo BUT I’M OK TELL THEM NOT TO WORRY THAT ITS ALL OK. To Aunt Charity & Aunt Tamy I’m happy you got to come up and see me and get some pictures and brought me cool stuff. Thank you Rachel & Michelle for taking care of the dogs. I’m also happy that you all (including Angie, Kar, Kym, Grams & Gramps Poulsen) got the time to come up and say hi when I was up in the hospital. I wish I would have gotten a picture with my Kymmie (Kym), hey Kym when I’m up there again will you come up so I can get a picture of us? K, Mom, I’m done. Bye everybody!
~~~Mom’s turn- Tucker is having a great night, and we had a blast- aside from the break down with tears in the middle- it was a great post. Well, aside from the occasional gas grenades… He critiqued me and my typing the whole time!!! (GGRRR.. lol) this was really the first time that he felt up to talking about what is going on and sitting back reflecting on what has happened in the past month. I want you all to know I type exactly what he says and I try to emphasize on how he said it. I don’t embellish on what he says, I just type it out exactly as the jumbled thought makes it from his brain to his mouth. I’m a SUPER fast typer and he can talk a million words a minute and I can keep up, no problem- it’s the HAZARD GAS that makes it a dangerous work environment. I’m still recovering from the last bomb he dropped. *whew* It was hard for me to not cry when Tucker was talking about the HOPE- wow! That really got to me… and then he started crying.. and then I cried… we just sat there like 2 big cry babies. I want you all to know that Tucker gets it, he gets the love, the support, the encouragement, the thoughts and prayers that are coming his way-HE DOES GET IT- haven’t we all been praying for HOPE? And the interesting thing is I have never talked to him about HOPE (my talks center around YOU’LL BE JUST FINE THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION SO YOUR FINE)- when that word came out of his mouth, I was (in a good way) shocked, humbled, and I had Goosebumps all over! I think Tucker has coined his own Journey’s name, Tucker’s journey of HOPE.
Love you all, Amber & Tucker & Justin.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Happy Birthday Amber!!!
Don't forget to wish Amber a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY today!! I am not good at creative writing as she is. But I hope the very best for her in the year to come. She has gotten nicer in her old age, he he. As a child she used to beat me and Charity up. She has always been the tallest, blondest, most athletic, passionate one. She will do anything for you and she very strong willed and stubborn and a FANTASTIC mom. Here's to you Amber! Cheers!
Amber at her wedding 2008
Amber is on the left, Tamy in the middle and Charity on the Right
Amber is in the middle. She looks about 2 1/2 years old
Amber at her wedding 2008
Amber is on the left, Tamy in the middle and Charity on the Right
Amber is in the middle. She looks about 2 1/2 years old
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
The Interview!
I got an amazing opportunity today to schedule in an interview with a very popular, in high demand- hard person to get an interview with……
Me: Mr. Tucker Ricker, how are you? Thank you for giving me this opportunity to interview you, you have a lot of fans out there.
Tucker: *giggling* Mom, you’re weird.
Me: You’re saying my interview is weird? Or is that your general opinion on Will Ferrell?
Tucker: What?! Mom, YOU ARE weird.
Me: I’ll take that as a compliment. Thanks! Now can you tell me about your day today?
Tucker: It was good.
Me: And…?
Tucker: That’s it. We just went to the doctors- Mom, you were there. Hey, I got my tubes un -clotted.
Me: Anything else?
Tucker: You know how my day was! You were with me the whole time!
Me: Tucker, this is an interview I have to do this professional as a 3rd party person-type way.
Tucker: What party? We are having a party?
Me: No I mean… never mind….. Let’s get back to the interview. What was fun about today?
Tucker: Nothing, well the only thing close to fun was watching the movie (we watched the Simpson's movie- always good for a distraction.).
Me: Anything you want to say to all your fans?
Tucker: No, I don’t feel good.
Me: Well I’m sure it because of the POPCORN you got at the hospital (POPCORN being CODE for CHEMO).
Tucker: Popcorn? No, I don’t want any popcorn.
Me: No I mean P O P C O R N *wink wink*… remember? The special “popcorn”?
Tucker: Mom, you’re weird (shaking his head).
Me: Thank you Mr. Tucker Ricker for taking the time to interview with me while on your commercial breaks watching the Simpson's, I realize your time is very valuable and I plan to offer you payment in the form of Lego’s.
Tucker: I get Lego’s?
*** And this concludes my interview with Tucker. Maybe I’ll try again another day when we haven’t had so much POPCORN…. Eeerrrr….. I mean, chemo.
Today chemo was fine. Like Tucker said we had to un-clot his tubes- that add’s on another hour to our stay. I hope he stays un clotted now, that really is a pain in the butt!! Tucker’s blood counts are pretty good. The doc explained to me that when Tucker started chemo he had very good, normal blood counts. Now when you start off “good/normal” it does take you a while to make your blood “crash”. So they were pleasantly surprise at his good blood today but told me it will eventually crash… any day now- I said “well good thing we are looking at the bright side?”. …… we had a different nurse today- have you ever had a nurse around your kids and your first thought was WOW, THIS PERSON SHOULD NOT BE WORKING WITH KIDS?! Ya, we had a nurse like THAT today. Now if I was a first timer mom (but I’m not) today probably would have gone a lot differently (I probably would have kept my mouth shut)- like… lets call her Nurse Growl- Now when Nurse Growl walked into the room she already had a scowl on her face (what’s that they say about first impressions???) but I gave her the benefit of the doubt- after she introduced herself to us I told her both of Tucker’s tubes are clotted.
She said : Ok, well I get a line started in his arm and we will get the meds up to un clot it.
I said: NO.
She said: No? (with this look on her face like HOW DARE I TALK BACK TO HER…)
I said (with a look on my face that looked like OH YA? YOU WANNA PLAY THIS GAME WITH ME? BRING IT ON) : No, we will wait for the meds to un clot it.
She said as she was backing out the door with a scow/growl on her face: No? But its just quicker to start a IV in his arm….
I said : Just because its quicker for you does NOT mean that’s what’s best for my child! No I will not have you start a line, just get the meds up here to un-clot them- and I know those meds only take 15-30 minutes to work (the longest time about this medicine is waiting for it to show up from the pharmacy). And she gave me this LOOK… this growl/scowl look and walked out of the room. SOOOOOO as you can totally tell, we “hit it off” and then it felt like every other time she came in the room she was in hurry and trying to not be there with us. I didn’t care, she could throw an emotional fit all she wanted, me and tuck just kicked backed and watched Sponge Bob. PLEASE REMEMBER PEOPLE YOU ARE YOUR KIDS VOICE! ASK QUESTIONS! IF IT DOESN’T FEEL “RIGHT” GET ANOTHER NURSE-HECK, GET 3 NURSES- GET TO THE POINT WHERE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE AND IT FEELS RIGHT WITH YOU. Today the biggest factor that came into play was I’m not new to this game, I know what’s up- I know what is going on around me and I KNOW what needs to be done and I know when a nurse is trying to cut a corner. Had this been my first battle with cancer today would have gone differently. But anyways- today is done. Tucker is home and he is “ok” (as you can tell from that riveting interview).
LOVE YOU ALL- amber & Justin & Tucker
Me: Mr. Tucker Ricker, how are you? Thank you for giving me this opportunity to interview you, you have a lot of fans out there.
Tucker: *giggling* Mom, you’re weird.
Me: You’re saying my interview is weird? Or is that your general opinion on Will Ferrell?
Tucker: What?! Mom, YOU ARE weird.
Me: I’ll take that as a compliment. Thanks! Now can you tell me about your day today?
Tucker: It was good.
Me: And…?
Tucker: That’s it. We just went to the doctors- Mom, you were there. Hey, I got my tubes un -clotted.
Me: Anything else?
Tucker: You know how my day was! You were with me the whole time!
Me: Tucker, this is an interview I have to do this professional as a 3rd party person-type way.
Tucker: What party? We are having a party?
Me: No I mean… never mind….. Let’s get back to the interview. What was fun about today?
Tucker: Nothing, well the only thing close to fun was watching the movie (we watched the Simpson's movie- always good for a distraction.).
Me: Anything you want to say to all your fans?
Tucker: No, I don’t feel good.
Me: Well I’m sure it because of the POPCORN you got at the hospital (POPCORN being CODE for CHEMO).
Tucker: Popcorn? No, I don’t want any popcorn.
Me: No I mean P O P C O R N *wink wink*… remember? The special “popcorn”?
Tucker: Mom, you’re weird (shaking his head).
Me: Thank you Mr. Tucker Ricker for taking the time to interview with me while on your commercial breaks watching the Simpson's, I realize your time is very valuable and I plan to offer you payment in the form of Lego’s.
Tucker: I get Lego’s?
*** And this concludes my interview with Tucker. Maybe I’ll try again another day when we haven’t had so much POPCORN…. Eeerrrr….. I mean, chemo.
Today chemo was fine. Like Tucker said we had to un-clot his tubes- that add’s on another hour to our stay. I hope he stays un clotted now, that really is a pain in the butt!! Tucker’s blood counts are pretty good. The doc explained to me that when Tucker started chemo he had very good, normal blood counts. Now when you start off “good/normal” it does take you a while to make your blood “crash”. So they were pleasantly surprise at his good blood today but told me it will eventually crash… any day now- I said “well good thing we are looking at the bright side?”. …… we had a different nurse today- have you ever had a nurse around your kids and your first thought was WOW, THIS PERSON SHOULD NOT BE WORKING WITH KIDS?! Ya, we had a nurse like THAT today. Now if I was a first timer mom (but I’m not) today probably would have gone a lot differently (I probably would have kept my mouth shut)- like… lets call her Nurse Growl- Now when Nurse Growl walked into the room she already had a scowl on her face (what’s that they say about first impressions???) but I gave her the benefit of the doubt- after she introduced herself to us I told her both of Tucker’s tubes are clotted.
She said : Ok, well I get a line started in his arm and we will get the meds up to un clot it.
I said: NO.
She said: No? (with this look on her face like HOW DARE I TALK BACK TO HER…)
I said (with a look on my face that looked like OH YA? YOU WANNA PLAY THIS GAME WITH ME? BRING IT ON) : No, we will wait for the meds to un clot it.
She said as she was backing out the door with a scow/growl on her face: No? But its just quicker to start a IV in his arm….
I said : Just because its quicker for you does NOT mean that’s what’s best for my child! No I will not have you start a line, just get the meds up here to un-clot them- and I know those meds only take 15-30 minutes to work (the longest time about this medicine is waiting for it to show up from the pharmacy). And she gave me this LOOK… this growl/scowl look and walked out of the room. SOOOOOO as you can totally tell, we “hit it off” and then it felt like every other time she came in the room she was in hurry and trying to not be there with us. I didn’t care, she could throw an emotional fit all she wanted, me and tuck just kicked backed and watched Sponge Bob. PLEASE REMEMBER PEOPLE YOU ARE YOUR KIDS VOICE! ASK QUESTIONS! IF IT DOESN’T FEEL “RIGHT” GET ANOTHER NURSE-HECK, GET 3 NURSES- GET TO THE POINT WHERE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE AND IT FEELS RIGHT WITH YOU. Today the biggest factor that came into play was I’m not new to this game, I know what’s up- I know what is going on around me and I KNOW what needs to be done and I know when a nurse is trying to cut a corner. Had this been my first battle with cancer today would have gone differently. But anyways- today is done. Tucker is home and he is “ok” (as you can tell from that riveting interview).
LOVE YOU ALL- amber & Justin & Tucker
Monday, February 21, 2011
Door #1? Door #2? or Door #3?
5 days and counting down!!! No… its not a count to when is Santa going to come…. Its not a count to when your birthday comes…. Not a count down to and exciting party, event, or thing…. It’s a count down to TUCKER DONE WITH STEROIDS!!! This Sunday will be his last steroid of the Dexamethasone- HALLELUJAH… all the angels above I can hear them sing- HALLELUJAH….in this beautiful chorus… and I can hear applause out in my audience- a standing ovation- CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU MADE IT!!!!! YOU MADE IT THROUGH 4 WEEKS OF STEROIDS!! Queue Alex Trabec, or Dick Clark.. or even better… Howie Mandel- walking in saying CONGRATULATIONS AMBER & JUSTIN- YOU HAVE WON THE FINAL ROUND IN THE GAME CALLED “CAN YOU SURVIVE A MONTH WITH A 10 YEAR OLD ON AN INSANE DOSE OF STEROIDS?!” AND YOU DID! YOU CAN NOW TAKE YOUR PICK AT YOUR SECRET PRIZE… PICK EITHER DOOR #1 FOR YOUR PRIZE… OR DOOR #2…. OR EVEN.. DOOR#3!!
**oh, jeez- Justin what do you think? I don’t think we should pick DOOR1… there is never anything good in there- hu? What’s that? You think DOOR3 might have a donkey behind it? Ya, you’re right sometimes game shows pull tricks on you. So…. We feeling DOOR2? Ya… DOOR 2 has that special vibe….
OK Howie, we pick DOOR#2!
Howie: “would you like to exchange DOOR 2 for what’s in this box?”
Oh jeez… another decision….oh what to do what to do….
*TO THE CROWD* DOOR 2? YA!! THE BOX? NO!!! OK
Howie- we want DOOR#2- WAIT! CAN WE PHONE A FRIEND? NO… hum… k- we will stick with DOOR#2.
*drum roll as the DOOR#2 SLOWLY INCHES OPEN*
Howie: You have won …..TA-DA another 6 weeks time on a different set of steroids!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
*me & Justin: Wait …wait …wait… we changed our minds PLEASE DOOR1 WE WANT DOOR 1!!!NO WAIT, THE BOX! WE WILL TAKE THE BOX!!
Howie: no returns or exchanges and all complaints must be submitted in writing.
*Justin says : I think Door#2 is the door with the “donkey” behind it… and that’s what we got- we got a JACK-ASS deal!
Yes, we will be in for more steroids, but the upside is they won’t have nearly as many side effects as the one we are currently on. The Dexamethason is HARD on your body- Tucker is currently crying in the front room because its giving him MAJOR acid reflux! They have put him on strong dose of Prevacid but it only does so much. Can you just imagine? He is “STARVING TO DEATH” and needs to eat everything (another side effect) but CAN’T because it hurts to bad from the acid reflux! He’s a strong little guy, every time I say- ONLY 5 MORE DAYS…. CAN YOU MAKE IT JUST 5 MORE DAYS? And he looks at me and says: yes Mom, I can make it- just 5 more days, I’m ok.
What a trooper…. He is so strong…. He amazes me, how did I get so lucky to have him in my life?
What is the one sure fire thing that happens AFTER something already bad happened to you? Yep- car breaks down. Nothing to serious, Justin just had to fix my breaks- and he is AMAZING got them all fixed up and it only took 1hour! He is the most amazing talented guy when it comes to house stuff (like demolishing/rebuilding) and CAR stuff! Thanks to him my old car is still up and running great! Thank you Justin for all that you do. You will never know how much you mean to me. I’m the luckiest women in the whole world to have you in my life. I still wish I had a new car- *SIGH* a girl can dream can’t she?
We are up and going first thing in the morning for the final dose of “phase 1”, the start of week #4 spinal tap chemo, in our 2 year marathon-cancer battle.
Love to all
Amber & Justin & Tucker
Charity & Tucker
Tamy, Tucker and Charity
Tamy & Tucker
Cousins: Aspen, Tucker, Mason, Autumn & Mason
Cousins: Aspen, Tucker and Autumn
**oh, jeez- Justin what do you think? I don’t think we should pick DOOR1… there is never anything good in there- hu? What’s that? You think DOOR3 might have a donkey behind it? Ya, you’re right sometimes game shows pull tricks on you. So…. We feeling DOOR2? Ya… DOOR 2 has that special vibe….
OK Howie, we pick DOOR#2!
Howie: “would you like to exchange DOOR 2 for what’s in this box?”
Oh jeez… another decision….oh what to do what to do….
*TO THE CROWD* DOOR 2? YA!! THE BOX? NO!!! OK
Howie- we want DOOR#2- WAIT! CAN WE PHONE A FRIEND? NO… hum… k- we will stick with DOOR#2.
*drum roll as the DOOR#2 SLOWLY INCHES OPEN*
Howie: You have won …..TA-DA another 6 weeks time on a different set of steroids!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
*me & Justin: Wait …wait …wait… we changed our minds PLEASE DOOR1 WE WANT DOOR 1!!!NO WAIT, THE BOX! WE WILL TAKE THE BOX!!
Howie: no returns or exchanges and all complaints must be submitted in writing.
*Justin says : I think Door#2 is the door with the “donkey” behind it… and that’s what we got- we got a JACK-ASS deal!
Yes, we will be in for more steroids, but the upside is they won’t have nearly as many side effects as the one we are currently on. The Dexamethason is HARD on your body- Tucker is currently crying in the front room because its giving him MAJOR acid reflux! They have put him on strong dose of Prevacid but it only does so much. Can you just imagine? He is “STARVING TO DEATH” and needs to eat everything (another side effect) but CAN’T because it hurts to bad from the acid reflux! He’s a strong little guy, every time I say- ONLY 5 MORE DAYS…. CAN YOU MAKE IT JUST 5 MORE DAYS? And he looks at me and says: yes Mom, I can make it- just 5 more days, I’m ok.
What a trooper…. He is so strong…. He amazes me, how did I get so lucky to have him in my life?
What is the one sure fire thing that happens AFTER something already bad happened to you? Yep- car breaks down. Nothing to serious, Justin just had to fix my breaks- and he is AMAZING got them all fixed up and it only took 1hour! He is the most amazing talented guy when it comes to house stuff (like demolishing/rebuilding) and CAR stuff! Thanks to him my old car is still up and running great! Thank you Justin for all that you do. You will never know how much you mean to me. I’m the luckiest women in the whole world to have you in my life. I still wish I had a new car- *SIGH* a girl can dream can’t she?
We are up and going first thing in the morning for the final dose of “phase 1”, the start of week #4 spinal tap chemo, in our 2 year marathon-cancer battle.
Love to all
Amber & Justin & Tucker
Charity & Tucker
Tamy, Tucker and Charity
Tamy & Tucker
Cousins: Aspen, Tucker, Mason, Autumn & Mason
Cousins: Aspen, Tucker and Autumn
Sunday, February 20, 2011
The Sister with Super Powers!
The Sister with Super Powers!
Here is a list of the most common Super Powers that we all know and associate with super heroes….
• superhuman durability
• Superhuman senses / emotions
• Superhuman strength
• Superhuman vision
• Superhuman speed
There are many more super powers but these remind me of my own personal Super Hero, Tamy my little sister. Every time I say to somebody “my little sister Tamy” I immediately get this picture in my head of her when she was 8 years old and had braided pig tails, but the reality is- she could give Wonder woman a run for her money! Between you and me, I think she secretly hides away her Lasso of Truth as her “belt” and her fashionable bracelets she wears are her “indestructible bracelets of power” and up in her hair if you look at just the right time you can catch a glimpse of her powerful tiara…
Super Tamys Powers…
Superhuman speed- Tamy has this ability to run to Target, to pick up kids, drop kids off, to the doctor , the vet, grocery store & to get her hair done- in all under 10 minutes! I’m not kidding! Well maybe I’m kidding a little, but she has this ability to time her travels down (TIME TRAVEL! ANOTHER POWER) to the very second so what would take me 5 hours to complete- only takes her 1 hour, if even. Now the most impressive thing here is- she has not gotten a speeding ticket!!! (or she hasn’t admitted to it…)… MAYBE she has invisibility power also?!
Superhuman strength- Tamy is a couple inches shorter than me, and you know she’s my “little” sister… you would think she is a puny little thing…. But that could not be further from the truth! She can have 2 kids in one arm and a dog in the other while carrying 10 bags of groceries in from the car all at the same time! It is absolutely amazing! I of course just sit back and watch her, no I don’t offer help, because she got it all… well that and because of her Superhuman speed she already made it in the door- put the kids down, feed the dogs and put the groceries away before I could say “hey, do you need some……never mind, looks like you got it.”
Superhuman senses/emotions- Tamy has these superpower emotions that are just so amazing, I wish I had them! She always keeps it together, never falls apart- and this is big stuff we have been dealing with. She is always the first one to say “don’t worry about it yet, get more information and then we will handle it then.” Other people in my family, as I’m sure in all families, tend to fall apart very quickly (me included!) at the sense of bad news- but not Tamy- she is a ROCK, she is the one you can lean on! How did my little sister get so strong? Oh YA… it probably has something to do with the superhuman strength thing…. There are many time that the phone rang up at the hospital and it was Tamy on the other end just “checking in” with me- little did she know I was hanging by an emotional thread and right at that second I had wished for her to call me.
Superhuman DURABILITY…. That amazing ability to endure- to trudge forward-to tolerate- to CARRY ON… no matter what is in your path… it could be an army of super mutated 3 headed aliens…. Or 3 sicks kids and 1 sick husband (personally I’d pick the super mutated aliens..). Tamy can endure with superhuman strength that I wish I had! She has had so much to bear in this life- including Tucker and me, and you would never know it to look at her. She is always cool, calm & collected…. She is like one of those durable bullet proof glasses, nothing can damage that!
Superhuman vision- this one is simple, I could have just dyed my hair hours ago, and she can march right up to me and STILL find grey hair on my head! Now if that is not a superpower I don’t know what is!! NOT that I’m admitting to having grey hairs…
I would just like everybody reading this (from what I’ve heard this blog is getting popular)… to know everything that Tamy and her husband Rick have done and are doing for me & Tucker. Back when Tucker was first diagnosed with cancer AND this time as well, Tamy was the first one to come up and bring me a bag full of “Tamy-goodies” which consisted of various candies, clothing, soaps, shampoos, and books… pretty much anything I need and stuff I didn’t know that I needed- was in my “Tamy-goodies” bag. At any time during my stay at the “hospital-Hilton” I could & would & have called her in a panic saying I NEED THIS AND THIS AND THIS…. NOW NOW NOW…. And before I knew it (probably the SUPERHUMAN SPEED at play here) she would be walking through the hospital door bringing me my requested items- along with 10 other things that she just thought I might also need. How is that for carrying? Like, here you go- all the stuff you said you needed- and I’ve thrown in a bunch of other things just in case. HOW AWESOME IS THAT? Tamy and Rick went as far as to make sure Tucker & I had a bedroom in their home (1st round with cancer) when they lived in Heber. There basement was unfinished and we spent a lot of time at their home and they finished just one room so we could have our own bed at their house. It was awesome. Tamy has started up a fundraiser for Tucker, sent out cards on our behalf, called people on my behalf, just anything and everything you can think of- Tamy has done for me and Tucker. Tamy has already made 3 visits up to the hospital this time round full of “Tamy-goodies” that I needed. Yes Tamy, I will be more prepared for our next hospital stay, but I know if I forget something you’ll be there for me.
Tamy- words can never express how much I love you. Today (February 20th) is your Birthday and I have absolutely nothing to give you but this post. You have done so much for me I know I can never repay you. I’m so lucky to have you in my life and I would be completely lost without you. You mean the world to me. You are an awesome mom, wife, sister and mostly a friend. Thank you for everything you have done and are continuing to do for Tucker.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!
And for the record Amber and Tamy are the same age for 5 whole days. Amber use to hate this growing up and I don't know how mom had a newborn and not quite one year old at the same time.-Tamy
The Wonderful Sisters Charity, Amber and Tamy November 2007
Amber and Tamy January 2010
Christmas Charity, Amber and Tamy Christmas 2009
Amber and Tamy ready for dance.
Here is a list of the most common Super Powers that we all know and associate with super heroes….
• superhuman durability
• Superhuman senses / emotions
• Superhuman strength
• Superhuman vision
• Superhuman speed
There are many more super powers but these remind me of my own personal Super Hero, Tamy my little sister. Every time I say to somebody “my little sister Tamy” I immediately get this picture in my head of her when she was 8 years old and had braided pig tails, but the reality is- she could give Wonder woman a run for her money! Between you and me, I think she secretly hides away her Lasso of Truth as her “belt” and her fashionable bracelets she wears are her “indestructible bracelets of power” and up in her hair if you look at just the right time you can catch a glimpse of her powerful tiara…
Super Tamys Powers…
Superhuman speed- Tamy has this ability to run to Target, to pick up kids, drop kids off, to the doctor , the vet, grocery store & to get her hair done- in all under 10 minutes! I’m not kidding! Well maybe I’m kidding a little, but she has this ability to time her travels down (TIME TRAVEL! ANOTHER POWER) to the very second so what would take me 5 hours to complete- only takes her 1 hour, if even. Now the most impressive thing here is- she has not gotten a speeding ticket!!! (or she hasn’t admitted to it…)… MAYBE she has invisibility power also?!
Superhuman strength- Tamy is a couple inches shorter than me, and you know she’s my “little” sister… you would think she is a puny little thing…. But that could not be further from the truth! She can have 2 kids in one arm and a dog in the other while carrying 10 bags of groceries in from the car all at the same time! It is absolutely amazing! I of course just sit back and watch her, no I don’t offer help, because she got it all… well that and because of her Superhuman speed she already made it in the door- put the kids down, feed the dogs and put the groceries away before I could say “hey, do you need some……never mind, looks like you got it.”
Superhuman senses/emotions- Tamy has these superpower emotions that are just so amazing, I wish I had them! She always keeps it together, never falls apart- and this is big stuff we have been dealing with. She is always the first one to say “don’t worry about it yet, get more information and then we will handle it then.” Other people in my family, as I’m sure in all families, tend to fall apart very quickly (me included!) at the sense of bad news- but not Tamy- she is a ROCK, she is the one you can lean on! How did my little sister get so strong? Oh YA… it probably has something to do with the superhuman strength thing…. There are many time that the phone rang up at the hospital and it was Tamy on the other end just “checking in” with me- little did she know I was hanging by an emotional thread and right at that second I had wished for her to call me.
Superhuman DURABILITY…. That amazing ability to endure- to trudge forward-to tolerate- to CARRY ON… no matter what is in your path… it could be an army of super mutated 3 headed aliens…. Or 3 sicks kids and 1 sick husband (personally I’d pick the super mutated aliens..). Tamy can endure with superhuman strength that I wish I had! She has had so much to bear in this life- including Tucker and me, and you would never know it to look at her. She is always cool, calm & collected…. She is like one of those durable bullet proof glasses, nothing can damage that!
Superhuman vision- this one is simple, I could have just dyed my hair hours ago, and she can march right up to me and STILL find grey hair on my head! Now if that is not a superpower I don’t know what is!! NOT that I’m admitting to having grey hairs…
I would just like everybody reading this (from what I’ve heard this blog is getting popular)… to know everything that Tamy and her husband Rick have done and are doing for me & Tucker. Back when Tucker was first diagnosed with cancer AND this time as well, Tamy was the first one to come up and bring me a bag full of “Tamy-goodies” which consisted of various candies, clothing, soaps, shampoos, and books… pretty much anything I need and stuff I didn’t know that I needed- was in my “Tamy-goodies” bag. At any time during my stay at the “hospital-Hilton” I could & would & have called her in a panic saying I NEED THIS AND THIS AND THIS…. NOW NOW NOW…. And before I knew it (probably the SUPERHUMAN SPEED at play here) she would be walking through the hospital door bringing me my requested items- along with 10 other things that she just thought I might also need. How is that for carrying? Like, here you go- all the stuff you said you needed- and I’ve thrown in a bunch of other things just in case. HOW AWESOME IS THAT? Tamy and Rick went as far as to make sure Tucker & I had a bedroom in their home (1st round with cancer) when they lived in Heber. There basement was unfinished and we spent a lot of time at their home and they finished just one room so we could have our own bed at their house. It was awesome. Tamy has started up a fundraiser for Tucker, sent out cards on our behalf, called people on my behalf, just anything and everything you can think of- Tamy has done for me and Tucker. Tamy has already made 3 visits up to the hospital this time round full of “Tamy-goodies” that I needed. Yes Tamy, I will be more prepared for our next hospital stay, but I know if I forget something you’ll be there for me.
Tamy- words can never express how much I love you. Today (February 20th) is your Birthday and I have absolutely nothing to give you but this post. You have done so much for me I know I can never repay you. I’m so lucky to have you in my life and I would be completely lost without you. You mean the world to me. You are an awesome mom, wife, sister and mostly a friend. Thank you for everything you have done and are continuing to do for Tucker.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!
And for the record Amber and Tamy are the same age for 5 whole days. Amber use to hate this growing up and I don't know how mom had a newborn and not quite one year old at the same time.-Tamy
The Wonderful Sisters Charity, Amber and Tamy November 2007
Amber and Tamy January 2010
Christmas Charity, Amber and Tamy Christmas 2009
Amber and Tamy ready for dance.
Friday, February 18, 2011
This is What You Would Look Like Too...
This is what you would look like 18 days into taking steroids...face gets round- like a "butter ball" and your tummy gets ROUND... and it hurts... his tummy hurts him A LOT.... and we have 10 more days of taking steroids...
heaven help us...
love you all-
Amber
Tucker February 17, 2011
heaven help us...
love you all-
Amber
Tucker February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hokey Poky
I have now successfully started this statement and deleted this statement about 5 times. I just don’t know how to start- I have so much to say I just can’t figure out where to begin. My last post was on Monday, and yet I feel like I’m so far behind….
I want you all to know I feel your love and support. There is so much I want to say… but I feel like i’m lacking in words. If you read my past posts… you would know that I ALWAYS have something to say… and yet I sit here stumped. The support and love we have received in this hard time has been so overwhelming that its like we……can’t take a breath…. Without breathing in the love. We can’t take a step without having hundreds of other people taking that same step with us. I look into the future and I see our future like a big dark fog- so thick I can’t see 1 inch in front of my face- at first it feels scary and terrifying- the unknown… so frightening…. until I look to my side and behind me and realize I’m surrounded by hundreds of people that are going to follow me every step of the way into the fog. All of a sudden it’s not scary any more….. how can it be scary when you’re not alone? I take one step, you take a step… I put my left foot in- you put your left foot in… I put my left foot out… you put your left foot out… we all put our left foot back in…and YES people YES, then we all together shake it all about!!! We will all do that hokey-poky and turn our self’s around… and (say it with me now..) THAT’S…. WHAT….. ITS….. ALL…. ABOUT!
I amaze myself sometimes- I can’t believe I ended my serious statement with the hokey-poky… . man, I’m good.
ANYWAYS…. Moving on from my mental derailment…. Tucker…. Yes our dear boy Tucker- is doing ok, all things considered. I want to just get technical here for a minute, we found out on this last Monday what the future holds…. And by future I mean only the next 22 weeks. I finally got a copy of Tucker’s “ROAD MAP”. Why, Amber, what’s a road map? Is that the directions you need to get to the hospital? Why no dear Johnny, (although that is useful to have because I’ve gotten lost going to the hospital …going home, and to work.. to Tuckers school.. ect… I just figure I wasn’t built with a map in my head… and that God wants me to see all new places, all the time)…. This ROAD MAP is the course of Tucker’s chemo for the next 2 years. Our “map” though the great battle for MIDDLE EARTH… no wait, I mean, the BATTLE OF TUCKER’S CANCER…. What I have so far is 22 weeks ahead- give or take it will “end” in July. We have gotten 3 weeks under our belt… ugh, that doesn’t sound like very much.. ANYWAYS… Week 5 is estimated to start on February 28th (Monday). Tucker will only start the next course if his blood counts have recovered enough to proceed. But most likely we will start on the 28th. This is where it gets…. Hard. His first chemo on the new map we will have to be admitted at Primary Children’s Hospital for 3days 2nights. He gets a chemo called Ara-C on every 12 hours for the 3 days, for a total of 5 doses of chemo (oh that fog is looking thicker right now)…. And if all goes well on the end of the 3rd day we go home. Week #6- quite frankly scares the bajeezes out of me (I don’t think there is proper spelling for bajeezers?) He will get a series of shots in his thigh muscles, 4-6 shots given at the same time…. Now didn’t that just make your tummy knot up a little? He will get that series of shots 2TIMES that week- so Monday and Thursdays. WOW. That really is going to BITE. WEEK#7 we get a break! No chemo no nothing… and then we repeat that whole thing AGAIN… 3 days 2 nights admin… followed by all the shots.. and that takes us through week#10…. That’s a lot to absorb so I’ll fill you in later with what week 11-22 holds (its not much better, but we don’t have the shots at least).
I want to express my gratitude for all my coworkers at HCA, I have not cooked a meal since January sometime. If you all keep feeding us, there is a very good chance I’ll forget how to cook! Although Tucker and Justin say (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU) and I said… hey! You said you loved my cooking!!! They just look at me and say “no, we said we loved YOU…”
My HCA had a big meeting today where they told me they raised $1400 for us! HOLY COW!!! When they told me that, my jaw dropped to the floor- my eyes flooded with tears… $1400???? LIKE, OVER A THOUSAND?! REALLY REALLY? REALLY? I just started crying- I just couldn’t stop crying… I was so overwhelmed… that’s so amazing- YOU ARE ALL SO AMAZING- THANKYOU TO EVERYBODY WHO SUPPORTED US AND “TEAM TUCKER”….. and may I say BRAVO-BRAVO- hats off my HCA people---you all hid everything SO WELL from me! I had NO IDEA! You guys are getting sneaky!!
I will post more later about my more personal experiences… but right now I have Tucker sitting right by my side now saying “what’cha doin mom? What about now? What you typing? Mom, what did you say you’re doing? Mom, look I found a Rock Band game… Mom, the dogs stink… Mom mom mom mom…….”
Love you all-
Amber
I want you all to know I feel your love and support. There is so much I want to say… but I feel like i’m lacking in words. If you read my past posts… you would know that I ALWAYS have something to say… and yet I sit here stumped. The support and love we have received in this hard time has been so overwhelming that its like we……can’t take a breath…. Without breathing in the love. We can’t take a step without having hundreds of other people taking that same step with us. I look into the future and I see our future like a big dark fog- so thick I can’t see 1 inch in front of my face- at first it feels scary and terrifying- the unknown… so frightening…. until I look to my side and behind me and realize I’m surrounded by hundreds of people that are going to follow me every step of the way into the fog. All of a sudden it’s not scary any more….. how can it be scary when you’re not alone? I take one step, you take a step… I put my left foot in- you put your left foot in… I put my left foot out… you put your left foot out… we all put our left foot back in…and YES people YES, then we all together shake it all about!!! We will all do that hokey-poky and turn our self’s around… and (say it with me now..) THAT’S…. WHAT….. ITS….. ALL…. ABOUT!
I amaze myself sometimes- I can’t believe I ended my serious statement with the hokey-poky… . man, I’m good.
ANYWAYS…. Moving on from my mental derailment…. Tucker…. Yes our dear boy Tucker- is doing ok, all things considered. I want to just get technical here for a minute, we found out on this last Monday what the future holds…. And by future I mean only the next 22 weeks. I finally got a copy of Tucker’s “ROAD MAP”. Why, Amber, what’s a road map? Is that the directions you need to get to the hospital? Why no dear Johnny, (although that is useful to have because I’ve gotten lost going to the hospital …going home, and to work.. to Tuckers school.. ect… I just figure I wasn’t built with a map in my head… and that God wants me to see all new places, all the time)…. This ROAD MAP is the course of Tucker’s chemo for the next 2 years. Our “map” though the great battle for MIDDLE EARTH… no wait, I mean, the BATTLE OF TUCKER’S CANCER…. What I have so far is 22 weeks ahead- give or take it will “end” in July. We have gotten 3 weeks under our belt… ugh, that doesn’t sound like very much.. ANYWAYS… Week 5 is estimated to start on February 28th (Monday). Tucker will only start the next course if his blood counts have recovered enough to proceed. But most likely we will start on the 28th. This is where it gets…. Hard. His first chemo on the new map we will have to be admitted at Primary Children’s Hospital for 3days 2nights. He gets a chemo called Ara-C on every 12 hours for the 3 days, for a total of 5 doses of chemo (oh that fog is looking thicker right now)…. And if all goes well on the end of the 3rd day we go home. Week #6- quite frankly scares the bajeezes out of me (I don’t think there is proper spelling for bajeezers?) He will get a series of shots in his thigh muscles, 4-6 shots given at the same time…. Now didn’t that just make your tummy knot up a little? He will get that series of shots 2TIMES that week- so Monday and Thursdays. WOW. That really is going to BITE. WEEK#7 we get a break! No chemo no nothing… and then we repeat that whole thing AGAIN… 3 days 2 nights admin… followed by all the shots.. and that takes us through week#10…. That’s a lot to absorb so I’ll fill you in later with what week 11-22 holds (its not much better, but we don’t have the shots at least).
I want to express my gratitude for all my coworkers at HCA, I have not cooked a meal since January sometime. If you all keep feeding us, there is a very good chance I’ll forget how to cook! Although Tucker and Justin say (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU) and I said… hey! You said you loved my cooking!!! They just look at me and say “no, we said we loved YOU…”
My HCA had a big meeting today where they told me they raised $1400 for us! HOLY COW!!! When they told me that, my jaw dropped to the floor- my eyes flooded with tears… $1400???? LIKE, OVER A THOUSAND?! REALLY REALLY? REALLY? I just started crying- I just couldn’t stop crying… I was so overwhelmed… that’s so amazing- YOU ARE ALL SO AMAZING- THANKYOU TO EVERYBODY WHO SUPPORTED US AND “TEAM TUCKER”….. and may I say BRAVO-BRAVO- hats off my HCA people---you all hid everything SO WELL from me! I had NO IDEA! You guys are getting sneaky!!
I will post more later about my more personal experiences… but right now I have Tucker sitting right by my side now saying “what’cha doin mom? What about now? What you typing? Mom, what did you say you’re doing? Mom, look I found a Rock Band game… Mom, the dogs stink… Mom mom mom mom…….”
Love you all-
Amber
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Valentine's Day
Chemo- Week #3. Valentines day!!!
Time sure is flying! You got to remember our first 2 chemos we were “in house” and today was our first outpatient chemo. Our appointment was at 9:30am, and we got there in time- score one for mom and one for no traffic problems.
Chemo- is just- chemo… not much changes. The doctors were shocked at how much better Tucker is! Talking, walking, hand use ect ect. Remember they only saw him at his worst up when we were admitted so to see him today they were just shocked. It has been only 6 days since they saw him last. I told them well, sometimes you just need to be home to get better!! Tucker surprisingly enough had decent blood counts today. That shocked everybody including me. He still has good levels of blood, and his ANC count; that’s your immune system count - tells you how much of a immune system you have, was good! Normally at this point in the “game” you would have no immune system, that’s when you are at your highest risk of catching that cold & becoming hospitalized. So- it’s a blessing today, no matter how much it shocked the doctors- that his immune system had a “pretty good count” because we had Justin’s kids over the weekend they just left Sunday night at 8pm. Justin got a text at 3:30am in the morning from Jaired his oldest son saying they just got out of the ER. Lily has the “croup” and Jaired has bronchitis or something like that, but Jaiden is fine. So Justin and I really freaked out- we knew Tucker had to have little to no immune system to fight anything off… and here his kids were in the hospital right after spending the weekend with Tucker!!! So first thing when I got to his Oncologist I told them what was up with the kids and such and they said well, let’s not worry about it until after we see his blood counts. So THANK GOODNESS that his blood work came back really good, all things considered and he actually has an immune system! THANK GOODNESS THANK GOODNESS THANK GOODNESS!!! The doc’s just told us to try to be more careful next time, because the little immune system he has right now ought to be gone by the end of February and gone for…. quite some time. Justin’s kids are fine- they got meds and now are at home trying to get better. So other than that little moment, chemo went fine, Tucker’s spinal tap went smooth… and they had to put some “cleaner” in both of his tubes to clean out clots- but once that was done all the meds just pushed right through and we were good to go- at 3pm.. we got in at about 9:30am and we were out the door at about 3pm. Sure makes for a long day- but we are only 3 weeks into a 2 -3 year game, I guess I shouldn’t be complaining yet. It could be worse- we could still be in the hospital. We came home to a big box on our front porch- My upper management at HCA sent Tucker this awesome little care package! It was chuck full of candy, chips, toys, games like checkers and Yahtzee. It was SO COOL! It was like perfect timing also, just coming home from our first outpatient chemo to find a big box of goodies! It really put a smile on Tucker’s face and helped him deal with the little ICKY things better (sick tummy, legs hurting ect) because he had this big box to go through! Thank you Kim, Scott & Kelly, it was AWESOME!
Here are some pictures from Chemo today.
Love you all- amber
Time sure is flying! You got to remember our first 2 chemos we were “in house” and today was our first outpatient chemo. Our appointment was at 9:30am, and we got there in time- score one for mom and one for no traffic problems.
Chemo- is just- chemo… not much changes. The doctors were shocked at how much better Tucker is! Talking, walking, hand use ect ect. Remember they only saw him at his worst up when we were admitted so to see him today they were just shocked. It has been only 6 days since they saw him last. I told them well, sometimes you just need to be home to get better!! Tucker surprisingly enough had decent blood counts today. That shocked everybody including me. He still has good levels of blood, and his ANC count; that’s your immune system count - tells you how much of a immune system you have, was good! Normally at this point in the “game” you would have no immune system, that’s when you are at your highest risk of catching that cold & becoming hospitalized. So- it’s a blessing today, no matter how much it shocked the doctors- that his immune system had a “pretty good count” because we had Justin’s kids over the weekend they just left Sunday night at 8pm. Justin got a text at 3:30am in the morning from Jaired his oldest son saying they just got out of the ER. Lily has the “croup” and Jaired has bronchitis or something like that, but Jaiden is fine. So Justin and I really freaked out- we knew Tucker had to have little to no immune system to fight anything off… and here his kids were in the hospital right after spending the weekend with Tucker!!! So first thing when I got to his Oncologist I told them what was up with the kids and such and they said well, let’s not worry about it until after we see his blood counts. So THANK GOODNESS that his blood work came back really good, all things considered and he actually has an immune system! THANK GOODNESS THANK GOODNESS THANK GOODNESS!!! The doc’s just told us to try to be more careful next time, because the little immune system he has right now ought to be gone by the end of February and gone for…. quite some time. Justin’s kids are fine- they got meds and now are at home trying to get better. So other than that little moment, chemo went fine, Tucker’s spinal tap went smooth… and they had to put some “cleaner” in both of his tubes to clean out clots- but once that was done all the meds just pushed right through and we were good to go- at 3pm.. we got in at about 9:30am and we were out the door at about 3pm. Sure makes for a long day- but we are only 3 weeks into a 2 -3 year game, I guess I shouldn’t be complaining yet. It could be worse- we could still be in the hospital. We came home to a big box on our front porch- My upper management at HCA sent Tucker this awesome little care package! It was chuck full of candy, chips, toys, games like checkers and Yahtzee. It was SO COOL! It was like perfect timing also, just coming home from our first outpatient chemo to find a big box of goodies! It really put a smile on Tucker’s face and helped him deal with the little ICKY things better (sick tummy, legs hurting ect) because he had this big box to go through! Thank you Kim, Scott & Kelly, it was AWESOME!
Here are some pictures from Chemo today.
Love you all- amber
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Hair? Hair? We don’t need no stinking HAIR!
Why do bald-headed men never use keys?
Because they've lost their locks.
Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in? Doctor: A shoebox.
Today the plan for Tucker was to give him a shower, but to first cut his hair. Tucker loves his hair and always wants it long, he loves long hair. I sat him down and I told him-
dude, ya know that icky medicine your getting? He said- YA-
I said, hey guess what… that icky med’s is gonna make your hair fall out. Remember Grandma from the other day, she doesn’t have any hair does she? He said, No.
I said Grams is getting the same chemo your getting and her hair fell out.
He said: Oh, k.
I said: Do you remember being bald the first time? You were only 5 years old. He said, not really.
I said: We need to cut your hair because its going to fall out and it will easier if we cut it super short and then it won’t be so bad when it falls out.
He said ok and then he walked into the bathroom and started combing his fingers through his hair and as he did that, his hand would come back with a bunch of hair….. it had already started to fall out. He held out his hand to me to show me all the hair…. And he just said “Oh… MOM… LOOOOOOK!” And I had to suck it up and look away… because it made my eyes fill up with tears- the MOST IMPORTANT thing is to keep positive with him and everything and anything that happens NEEDS to happen in a positive way. I can get upset later when nobody can see me- but right now I need to suck it up and be strong….. so I looked back and said OH MY GOSH, THAT IS SO COOL! Lets shave your head and then you’ll be “a-head” of the game!! HA HA HA… GET IT? A “HEAD” of the game!? He said: nothing (he was laughing from my joke!- I have awesome jokes). I ran my fingers through his thick long hair one more time and sure enough I got back a handful of hair… I just closed my eyes prayed to God to give me the strength to not break down and cry- I opened my eyes and said “LETS GET IT DONE SO WE CAN COVER YOUR HEAD WITH FAKE TATTOOS!”
So I shaved him & then helped him have a bath/shower. Got him all scrubbed up and clean and when we were done he was ready for bed. He slept the whole night through and when he got up this morning Justin went in to check on him- I love that man!
We have had Justin's kids with us this weekend and it has been such a BLESSING. I wasn’t sure how it would go- but they have been these little angles- anything and everything they can do to help Tucker out they do-before Tucker even gets done asking for something! They have each helped him in their own special way. Jaired is helping Tucker on the Xbox games and even at one point he got a Micky Mouse doll (there is a picture) and was making it talk and say silly stuff to Tucker to make him laugh, it was precious! Tucker was just laughing! Jaiden will run and get Tucker whatever he needs, a drink or treat- and is always right by Tucker’s side. Lily wants to play with Tucker, its funny- she wants to color with him and also be by his side (do you see the possible fight in the works here?). She just wants to mother Tucker to death, Tucker loves it and loves her- well, loves all the kids. Honestly having the kids here has help SO MUCH with Tucker’s “rehabilitation” if you will- they have helped him think, he has moved more, talking more- doing MORE. They are getting him up and going without even realizing that’s what they are doing. Tucker has just bloomed in the past 48 hours with the kids. Justin and I both agreed how much help & how much of a difference the kids have made this weekend. I truly and honestly believe that through our trials its going to bring us closer together as a family. Today is a BEAUTIFUL day! With Tucker’s new hair cut- and it just being so awesome outside we all dressed up and went for a walk to the park. Jaired rode his rip-stick, Jaiden rode his bike, me & Lily walked the dogs and Justin pushed Tucker in his wheel chair. On our way up the road we ran into our awesome neighbors Justin & Erin. They live only 2 houses away and they are the sweetest couple. They just had their first baby boy- who is adorable- but they just happen to be outside as we were walking by. They had not heard of what had been going on in our life so we filled them in and they were a little shocked. But Justin was so upbeat and positive and just kept saying Tucker can beat this again! You’re such a strong guy Tucker! Justin & Erin saw the camera hanging out of my hand and asked us if they could help? Maybe come to the park and take our family pictures? Well, awesome idea! So we walked and meet up with them at the park and got new beautiful pictures.
I hope you all enjoy them.
Tomorrow I take Tucker for round 3 of chemo. It will be more spinal tap (NOT in the RTU) and IV chemo’s. I think I have about 50/50 chance of him throwing up in my car- so I plan on being prepared; my car has its very own pink puke bucket in it. Hey, I HAVE learned from my 1st go around.
Love you all-
Amber
I believe this is the cool new popcorn popper.
Jaiden, Jaired, & Tucker
Jaiden, Jaired & Tucker
Lily, Jaiden, Jaired, & Tucker
The Family: Amber, Tucker, Jaired, Jaiden, Lily, Justin, Honey and Raven
The kids
Justin & Tucker
Because they've lost their locks.
Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in? Doctor: A shoebox.
Today the plan for Tucker was to give him a shower, but to first cut his hair. Tucker loves his hair and always wants it long, he loves long hair. I sat him down and I told him-
dude, ya know that icky medicine your getting? He said- YA-
I said, hey guess what… that icky med’s is gonna make your hair fall out. Remember Grandma from the other day, she doesn’t have any hair does she? He said, No.
I said Grams is getting the same chemo your getting and her hair fell out.
He said: Oh, k.
I said: Do you remember being bald the first time? You were only 5 years old. He said, not really.
I said: We need to cut your hair because its going to fall out and it will easier if we cut it super short and then it won’t be so bad when it falls out.
He said ok and then he walked into the bathroom and started combing his fingers through his hair and as he did that, his hand would come back with a bunch of hair….. it had already started to fall out. He held out his hand to me to show me all the hair…. And he just said “Oh… MOM… LOOOOOOK!” And I had to suck it up and look away… because it made my eyes fill up with tears- the MOST IMPORTANT thing is to keep positive with him and everything and anything that happens NEEDS to happen in a positive way. I can get upset later when nobody can see me- but right now I need to suck it up and be strong….. so I looked back and said OH MY GOSH, THAT IS SO COOL! Lets shave your head and then you’ll be “a-head” of the game!! HA HA HA… GET IT? A “HEAD” of the game!? He said: nothing (he was laughing from my joke!- I have awesome jokes). I ran my fingers through his thick long hair one more time and sure enough I got back a handful of hair… I just closed my eyes prayed to God to give me the strength to not break down and cry- I opened my eyes and said “LETS GET IT DONE SO WE CAN COVER YOUR HEAD WITH FAKE TATTOOS!”
So I shaved him & then helped him have a bath/shower. Got him all scrubbed up and clean and when we were done he was ready for bed. He slept the whole night through and when he got up this morning Justin went in to check on him- I love that man!
We have had Justin's kids with us this weekend and it has been such a BLESSING. I wasn’t sure how it would go- but they have been these little angles- anything and everything they can do to help Tucker out they do-before Tucker even gets done asking for something! They have each helped him in their own special way. Jaired is helping Tucker on the Xbox games and even at one point he got a Micky Mouse doll (there is a picture) and was making it talk and say silly stuff to Tucker to make him laugh, it was precious! Tucker was just laughing! Jaiden will run and get Tucker whatever he needs, a drink or treat- and is always right by Tucker’s side. Lily wants to play with Tucker, its funny- she wants to color with him and also be by his side (do you see the possible fight in the works here?). She just wants to mother Tucker to death, Tucker loves it and loves her- well, loves all the kids. Honestly having the kids here has help SO MUCH with Tucker’s “rehabilitation” if you will- they have helped him think, he has moved more, talking more- doing MORE. They are getting him up and going without even realizing that’s what they are doing. Tucker has just bloomed in the past 48 hours with the kids. Justin and I both agreed how much help & how much of a difference the kids have made this weekend. I truly and honestly believe that through our trials its going to bring us closer together as a family. Today is a BEAUTIFUL day! With Tucker’s new hair cut- and it just being so awesome outside we all dressed up and went for a walk to the park. Jaired rode his rip-stick, Jaiden rode his bike, me & Lily walked the dogs and Justin pushed Tucker in his wheel chair. On our way up the road we ran into our awesome neighbors Justin & Erin. They live only 2 houses away and they are the sweetest couple. They just had their first baby boy- who is adorable- but they just happen to be outside as we were walking by. They had not heard of what had been going on in our life so we filled them in and they were a little shocked. But Justin was so upbeat and positive and just kept saying Tucker can beat this again! You’re such a strong guy Tucker! Justin & Erin saw the camera hanging out of my hand and asked us if they could help? Maybe come to the park and take our family pictures? Well, awesome idea! So we walked and meet up with them at the park and got new beautiful pictures.
I hope you all enjoy them.
Tomorrow I take Tucker for round 3 of chemo. It will be more spinal tap (NOT in the RTU) and IV chemo’s. I think I have about 50/50 chance of him throwing up in my car- so I plan on being prepared; my car has its very own pink puke bucket in it. Hey, I HAVE learned from my 1st go around.
Love you all-
Amber
I believe this is the cool new popcorn popper.
Jaiden, Jaired, & Tucker
Jaiden, Jaired & Tucker
Lily, Jaiden, Jaired, & Tucker
The Family: Amber, Tucker, Jaired, Jaiden, Lily, Justin, Honey and Raven
The kids
Justin & Tucker
Friday, February 11, 2011
Back to Work
As many of you know I’m back to –DUN, DUN, DUN- WORK… ugh! The 4 letter word that causes us all to have a little shutter run up and down our spine; Yes…. Work… the “W” word.
Honestly though work helps me clear my head and focus on other things- it’s really one of my saving graces. It gets me into “adult land” and helps me to not focus on the reality of my home situation. There is plenty of time to focus on my reality away from work- but work just helps me have that escape. Plus, honestly Justin and I can’t survive without both of our incomes- so there is that incentive.
I know people are reading this blog saying “Amber, we love you but we want to hear about Tucker” ok, ok- I know. Each day Tucker has progressively gotten better! Yes BETTER! It’s the little things that he could not do, as recent as 5 days ago- that he can NOW do! Remember how he was having all these problems talking? Well, that’s still a problem but its getting better! He can say full sentences (and we can understand what he’s saying!), he can tell me what he wants & needs without me having to guess- or try to get him (or me) to act it out as if we are in charades… can’t you just picture me hoping around acting out- DOES IT SOUND LIKE… or…. IS IT A PERSON? PLACE? THING?-YES A THING- ok… DOES IT SOUND LIKE- BBEEEEDDDD…? DO YOU WANT YOUR BED? No… DO YOU WANT A BROOM? No… DOES IT SOUND LIKE BROOM? No… but it starts with a “B”… k, so is it BEAR? YOU WANT A BIG BEAR? No… is it BUBBLES, BACON, BASKETBALL? Can you see why Tucker gets so frustrated with me??? I’m not good at this game. IS IT A BLANKET?? YES??? SCORE ONE FOR MOM!!! and I jump around in my short lived victory and run and grab him 5 blankets just so we don’t have to do this again. The good thing is it makes him laugh, oh how I love the sound of his laughter… and I’ll keep hoping around like a fool as long as I can hear him laugh. Things we do for our kids, right? At least I didn’t have to act out blanket… that would have been interesting.. not sure how I would have pulled that off, but right off the top of my head I think I would have used the dog and somehow tried to establish the dog as a “blanket” pulling it up to my chin… HA.. now that sounds interesting- I may just have to try that when I get home (even though we can understand him now).
My mother-in-law bought for us a baby monitor and we put one by Tucker’s bed and one by my bed in my room- so last night was the first night I actually got to sleep in my bed. The monitor was a life saver! It was perfect! Tucker would call out to me and I (after getting over the shock/terror of having him yell out) would go into his room- more zombie than mom- and help him with whatever he needed. The main point being I could go back to bed!
We had my step kids over last night and this is the first time they have gotten to see Tucker since this whole thing started. There were no kids allowed in the hospital. Lily tried to come up once but they made her sit out in the lobby. My kids were great! When I got home I saw all the kids willing and wanting to help Tucker! Jaired (our oldest) was trying to help him play a game on the DS (game boy thing), and then Jaiden drew Tucker a picture and Lily was fascinated by Tucker’s tubes. So I had the kids help me “wash” out Tucker’s tubes that we have to do each night, we flush it with saline and heparin. They were like Ooohhhh…. & Awwwww… when I pushed in the saline, if you pull back a little some blood will come out- it helped them to understand because of these tubes Tucker won’t need any needles- and I could tell this really relaxed Lily because she was so worried about needles and shots, but she realized the tubes won’t hurt Tucker and he won’t have any needles!
Thanks to Angie last night she sent over a huge Dominos fest! It hit the spot Angie, thank you for your support and your wonderful giving nature. I’m so blessed to have you as my friend.
More to come later- love to all- Amber
Honestly though work helps me clear my head and focus on other things- it’s really one of my saving graces. It gets me into “adult land” and helps me to not focus on the reality of my home situation. There is plenty of time to focus on my reality away from work- but work just helps me have that escape. Plus, honestly Justin and I can’t survive without both of our incomes- so there is that incentive.
I know people are reading this blog saying “Amber, we love you but we want to hear about Tucker” ok, ok- I know. Each day Tucker has progressively gotten better! Yes BETTER! It’s the little things that he could not do, as recent as 5 days ago- that he can NOW do! Remember how he was having all these problems talking? Well, that’s still a problem but its getting better! He can say full sentences (and we can understand what he’s saying!), he can tell me what he wants & needs without me having to guess- or try to get him (or me) to act it out as if we are in charades… can’t you just picture me hoping around acting out- DOES IT SOUND LIKE… or…. IS IT A PERSON? PLACE? THING?-YES A THING- ok… DOES IT SOUND LIKE- BBEEEEDDDD…? DO YOU WANT YOUR BED? No… DO YOU WANT A BROOM? No… DOES IT SOUND LIKE BROOM? No… but it starts with a “B”… k, so is it BEAR? YOU WANT A BIG BEAR? No… is it BUBBLES, BACON, BASKETBALL? Can you see why Tucker gets so frustrated with me??? I’m not good at this game. IS IT A BLANKET?? YES??? SCORE ONE FOR MOM!!! and I jump around in my short lived victory and run and grab him 5 blankets just so we don’t have to do this again. The good thing is it makes him laugh, oh how I love the sound of his laughter… and I’ll keep hoping around like a fool as long as I can hear him laugh. Things we do for our kids, right? At least I didn’t have to act out blanket… that would have been interesting.. not sure how I would have pulled that off, but right off the top of my head I think I would have used the dog and somehow tried to establish the dog as a “blanket” pulling it up to my chin… HA.. now that sounds interesting- I may just have to try that when I get home (even though we can understand him now).
My mother-in-law bought for us a baby monitor and we put one by Tucker’s bed and one by my bed in my room- so last night was the first night I actually got to sleep in my bed. The monitor was a life saver! It was perfect! Tucker would call out to me and I (after getting over the shock/terror of having him yell out) would go into his room- more zombie than mom- and help him with whatever he needed. The main point being I could go back to bed!
We had my step kids over last night and this is the first time they have gotten to see Tucker since this whole thing started. There were no kids allowed in the hospital. Lily tried to come up once but they made her sit out in the lobby. My kids were great! When I got home I saw all the kids willing and wanting to help Tucker! Jaired (our oldest) was trying to help him play a game on the DS (game boy thing), and then Jaiden drew Tucker a picture and Lily was fascinated by Tucker’s tubes. So I had the kids help me “wash” out Tucker’s tubes that we have to do each night, we flush it with saline and heparin. They were like Ooohhhh…. & Awwwww… when I pushed in the saline, if you pull back a little some blood will come out- it helped them to understand because of these tubes Tucker won’t need any needles- and I could tell this really relaxed Lily because she was so worried about needles and shots, but she realized the tubes won’t hurt Tucker and he won’t have any needles!
Thanks to Angie last night she sent over a huge Dominos fest! It hit the spot Angie, thank you for your support and your wonderful giving nature. I’m so blessed to have you as my friend.
More to come later- love to all- Amber
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Tucker's Great Escape
Ok so here’s the deal we are going to make a break for it- the.. plan, let's call it “Tucker’s Great Escape”, nobody will know what it means- it's totally in code, this is an elaborate plan… I made a cake…- a cake that had a file smuggled in the center of it- and an escape route that I sketched out on toilet paper- finally- a full proof escape plan… so-we got the file CHECK-we have kept careful and precise notes of the time the guards patrolled our doors- so distract the guard, check…. escape vehicle standing by- check- escape map on toilet paper (good for 2 reasons…. You never know what you’re going to need toilet paper it is a MUST)…double check… hopefully Tucker doesn’t have to use the toilet paper before we get to the end of the escape route or we may have to double back and risk being caught….
*whew* WE MADE IT- my plan was flawless… it was amazing… it was like we walked out the front door! We are HOME….. home home home…. We have tried to hide all our tracks - and we cover up our scents so the dogs can’t track us- that was a trick lemme tell you- with the way Tucker’s butt has been stinking… WHEW… tracking dogs from New York could find us! LOL!!
Honestly they lets us out early due to good behavior- Tucker’s body has been put on parole! So far so good! He is “stable” and finally able to send home. It caught everybody by surprise- I didn’t think we would come home until Wednesday at the earliest so we were scrambling like crazy to get everything ready for us. Karleen went and got us groceries and Justin was frantically trying to get the room together=- but that didn’t happen so we just got beds put out in the front room. Today though I was able to move Tucker’s bed into his new bedroom, we have 2 beds in there now, tucker is up on the bed and I’m on the floor. Unless you hear Tucker it’s really hard to explain his speech to you. Its like he’s 2 years old trying to get words out. It took me 15 minutes today to figure out that Tucker was trying to tell me he wanted a STRAW…. A freaking STRAW people! I tried to have him write it down but it looked like “astaw” so I was trying to come up with words that were like “astaw”… Astringent? LOL Steel? Apple? Water? Popcorn?! Come on child I’m trying my hardest! And then finally FINALLY- after Tucker stopped laughing at me- I got it- it was “A Staw” or “A STRAW”… I can’t believe I didn’t get that. I felt like such a dummy! He’s frustrated because he knows what he wants to say- but his words are not working with him. I hope each day he will get better but this is the reason he won’t, of his own choice, talk on the phone. He has talked to 2 people now- Kym today because its her birthday and she is his “kymie” and all he could say is “Happy” and he tried to say “birthday” but it sounded more like “umenbenth” or “bueiserer”… he tried 2 times- but each time he got “happy” right and he can say “I love you”, when I talked to Kym she said she got what he was trying to say and that’s all that matters. I was just so happy that he tried to talk to her. I feel that was a big step. Also today Tucker got a very cool present from a class mate of his- Braxton. He got this popcorn machine and this bag full of candy and a gift card to blockbuster- just all this cool stuff! So he wanted to talk to Braxton who is his buddy in class- and all Tucker could say was “Hi Braxton” I was impressed that he said that much! And then Braxton didn’t really know what to say back other than “hi” so I chimed in and just said to him “just keep talking to him Braxton, he is listening to you!” and off Braxton went- talking about the weather and precipitation that they are learning in class and on and on he went, and Tucker was smiling and nodding his head up and down as if agreeing with Braxton. I told Tucker to say by to him and thanked Braxton for that. That was really sweet. Braxton, buddy- if you’re reading this THANK YOU, you really made Tucker smile just talking to him.
Tomorrow, Thursday, I’m heading back to work. Karleen is watching over Tucker and this will be the start of juggling serious cancer with a full time job. I don’t know how I’m going to do it but in my situation I don’t have a choice. I have to do this for Tucker- for me- & for Justin. This will work out- please pray for me and my work that this will all fall into place. I’m more worried about work now than I am Tucker. Maybe it's because I’ve already been through this before with Tucker- I don’t know- but I need to get work set & straight first and then I can relax more.
I have pictures of Tucker new room I’ll get posted tomorrow.
Love you all- Amber
Also, just in case you're wondering (yes I have pictures- but tomorrow) the dogs have not let Tucker more than 4 inches out of their reach. They are sleeping on him, by him- lying on his feet- or their heads on his lap- fingers- legs- whatever part they can touch. They will all be lying there watching cartoons looking like they are all asleep and Honey will just pop her head up and lick Tucker’s head, or arm, and then put her head down and go back to sleep. They missed him so so much and I have the most adorable pictures- but tomorrow, I’m tired and I’ve got to work in the morning.
Tucker and Honey
Tucker, Honey, and Raven
Tucker and Raven
New Room
Cool new shelves/closet Justin built
*whew* WE MADE IT- my plan was flawless… it was amazing… it was like we walked out the front door! We are HOME….. home home home…. We have tried to hide all our tracks - and we cover up our scents so the dogs can’t track us- that was a trick lemme tell you- with the way Tucker’s butt has been stinking… WHEW… tracking dogs from New York could find us! LOL!!
Honestly they lets us out early due to good behavior- Tucker’s body has been put on parole! So far so good! He is “stable” and finally able to send home. It caught everybody by surprise- I didn’t think we would come home until Wednesday at the earliest so we were scrambling like crazy to get everything ready for us. Karleen went and got us groceries and Justin was frantically trying to get the room together=- but that didn’t happen so we just got beds put out in the front room. Today though I was able to move Tucker’s bed into his new bedroom, we have 2 beds in there now, tucker is up on the bed and I’m on the floor. Unless you hear Tucker it’s really hard to explain his speech to you. Its like he’s 2 years old trying to get words out. It took me 15 minutes today to figure out that Tucker was trying to tell me he wanted a STRAW…. A freaking STRAW people! I tried to have him write it down but it looked like “astaw” so I was trying to come up with words that were like “astaw”… Astringent? LOL Steel? Apple? Water? Popcorn?! Come on child I’m trying my hardest! And then finally FINALLY- after Tucker stopped laughing at me- I got it- it was “A Staw” or “A STRAW”… I can’t believe I didn’t get that. I felt like such a dummy! He’s frustrated because he knows what he wants to say- but his words are not working with him. I hope each day he will get better but this is the reason he won’t, of his own choice, talk on the phone. He has talked to 2 people now- Kym today because its her birthday and she is his “kymie” and all he could say is “Happy” and he tried to say “birthday” but it sounded more like “umenbenth” or “bueiserer”… he tried 2 times- but each time he got “happy” right and he can say “I love you”, when I talked to Kym she said she got what he was trying to say and that’s all that matters. I was just so happy that he tried to talk to her. I feel that was a big step. Also today Tucker got a very cool present from a class mate of his- Braxton. He got this popcorn machine and this bag full of candy and a gift card to blockbuster- just all this cool stuff! So he wanted to talk to Braxton who is his buddy in class- and all Tucker could say was “Hi Braxton” I was impressed that he said that much! And then Braxton didn’t really know what to say back other than “hi” so I chimed in and just said to him “just keep talking to him Braxton, he is listening to you!” and off Braxton went- talking about the weather and precipitation that they are learning in class and on and on he went, and Tucker was smiling and nodding his head up and down as if agreeing with Braxton. I told Tucker to say by to him and thanked Braxton for that. That was really sweet. Braxton, buddy- if you’re reading this THANK YOU, you really made Tucker smile just talking to him.
Tomorrow, Thursday, I’m heading back to work. Karleen is watching over Tucker and this will be the start of juggling serious cancer with a full time job. I don’t know how I’m going to do it but in my situation I don’t have a choice. I have to do this for Tucker- for me- & for Justin. This will work out- please pray for me and my work that this will all fall into place. I’m more worried about work now than I am Tucker. Maybe it's because I’ve already been through this before with Tucker- I don’t know- but I need to get work set & straight first and then I can relax more.
I have pictures of Tucker new room I’ll get posted tomorrow.
Love you all- Amber
Also, just in case you're wondering (yes I have pictures- but tomorrow) the dogs have not let Tucker more than 4 inches out of their reach. They are sleeping on him, by him- lying on his feet- or their heads on his lap- fingers- legs- whatever part they can touch. They will all be lying there watching cartoons looking like they are all asleep and Honey will just pop her head up and lick Tucker’s head, or arm, and then put her head down and go back to sleep. They missed him so so much and I have the most adorable pictures- but tomorrow, I’m tired and I’ve got to work in the morning.
Tucker and Honey
Tucker, Honey, and Raven
Tucker and Raven
New Room
Cool new shelves/closet Justin built
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Star Date February 9th, location: HOME
Star date February 9th, location : HOME
Home…. Home…. Home… I just love the way those words sound to me. This has been by far the longest hospital stay we have ever had. I’m estimating our bill at the fine “Hilton Inn” to be around $200,000 if not more.
Let me back track the past couple days so you can see how we got to where we are. On Sunday Justin call me and said “Honey, tomorrow after work why don’t I come up there and I’ll take the night shift with Tucker and you can go home and get some sleep.” I loved this idea, I LOVE my husbands willingness to trade with me and take over for a bit. So Monday rolled around and we went for our RTU experience… and let me just say that was an interesting experience. Now there are many of you saying “hey Amber, what’s RTU and how is it different?”. Ok, RTU stands for Rapid Treatment Unit- this is like “same day surgery” but… not really… this is a clinic where quick little tiny procedures can be done, a procedure that only takes a few minutes but that the kids need to be put to sleep for- like a Spinal Tap. A spinal tap is not a “surgical procedure” so we don’t have to go into surgery but we still need to put our kids asleep so there is an option of RTU. It’s quick, in & out and you have an anthologist there the whole time. The benefit is Tucker gets a better “mamma said knock you out” type of drugs- drugs that he has a quick wake up experience from- not the “hey mom, you’re a robot” for 20 minutes. The down side is they don’t let you (the mom) be with him in the room- that I don’t like so much. Anyways onto my experience, I was under the impression that we were getting a spinal and a bone marrow biopsy done and that’s why we were in RTU instead of our normal spinal in clinic- well Tuck and I get down there and all the nurses had wrote down was a spinal tap- I told them that must be wrong we can’t be here for just a simple spinal, we do all those in clinic- I thought for sure we were in for a bone marrow biopsy. So the doctor came in- I mean the Physician’s Assistant- and I told him please call and check with Dr. Afifie I’m sure we needed a bone marrow done- he came back like 2 minutes later and said he had confirmed with somebody else, a name I didn’t recognize, and said he just needed a spinal- WAIT let me set the scene- the Physician Assistant marched into the room 2 minutes later, looking highly annoyed, and said “I talked with so& so and they agreed that only a spinal tap chemo is needed!” and he whipped around and marched right out of the room before I could even take a breath! There were 2 other nurses and the anthologist still in the room- and it was very very quit- you could have heard a pin drop… they were waiting for me to react. The nice nurse looked at me and asked (in a whisper, as if not to provoke the animal) me if we just wanted to go back upstairs, I said No, we have come this far is 2pm and Tucker hasn’t ate all day- (I snapped at all of them) DOES THE DOC ALWAYS JUST MARCH OUT OF THE ROOM IN MID CONVERSATION??? I STILL HAD QUESTIONS!!! I looked at Tucker who looked just pathetic, I know he was hungry and had been such a good sport about not eating- so I looked at the nurses who looked afraid to move and I said- JUST GET IT DONE, NOW. They all just hopped into motion then and took Tuck out of the room. Now, there is so much of this stuff that I’m ok with and I can handle it very well- except for when he is taken from me in a place I can’t follow in a situation that is already emotionally charged- I mean, people this procedure was like 10 minutes long, if even that! And I started crying and I was pacing in the hall way- you would have thought he was getting open heart surgery or something. But soon the doors opened and I was allowed to hang with Tucker while he woke up. It was like mamma bear being reunited with baby cub- I just relaxed and it was all ok. Other than that Physicians Assistant being a complete Ass, turns out only a spinal was needed- this happens a lot up there- all of the doctors talk and leave me out of the loop. Well Dr. Afife caught up with me later and told me the spinal was ok without the bone marrow.
We get back up to our room and we look outside and the storm started rolling in- the wind, the snow- it was NASTY. We are on the 4th floor and we had ice/snow build up on our window! So I called Justin and told him to just stay home- its not worth the travel I’m ok for another night.
Well he took yesterday off of work so he could finish up Tucker’s new room…. As for me in the morning IN MARCHED IRISH- OH MY IRISH! Life just seems not so bad when you’re our nurse! Turns out he was “assigned’ to originally work on the 3rd floor, but when he found out that Tucker was still “in house” he went, pulled some strings and got switched to the 4th floor and demanded to be Tucker’s nurse. Can I just say I love that man? Our night nurse Rick, every night that he hasn’t been tucker’s nurse but has been working would make sure to “check in” with us and let us know he was there if I needed him…. I love these guys!
Anyways… Yesterday morning I went down for coffee and I came back up and my little nurse helper that Irish is training, Erin, came in and said the doctors came in while I was gone (ALWAYS COME WHEN I GO TO GET COFFEE! ITS LIKE THEY HAVE THIS 6TH SENSE- HEY THE MOM IS GONE! QUICK LETS ROUND IN HER ROOM WHILE SHE’S OUT!) and they started throwing around the “H” word….. I SAID….YOU MEAN THE “HOME” “H” WORD?! And she said- yep that’s the one! I had to sit down! I said ERIN, DON’T MESS WITH ME… REALLY? THEY SAID THAT “H” WORD?! And queue IRISH walking in with that HUGE smile- and he said FOR REAL- GOING HOME!! YOUR GOING HOME!!!! So I did what any mom in my situation would do- I started to cry… and Irish just chuckled… Erin looked like she dind’t know what to do (remember she’s a student)… and Irish just started to get Tucker worked up about going home… Tucker smiled- he almost laughed… he looked SO HAPPY to go home! Home!!!! I called Justin and said HEY, you ready for us? He said.. no, what do you mean? I said THEY ARE SENDING US HOME!!!! He was like REALLY? I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF THAT I NEED TO GET DONE!!!!!! And off he went frantically trying to finish Tucker’s room before we got home. I know he was so excited to have us coming home and secretly I think he was relieved he didn’t have to spend another night in the hospital.
This is a long post already- I’ll send another one later today about coming home.
Love you all- Amber
Aunt Charity, Uncle Scott and Tucker on Monday February 7, 2011
Going home smile February 8, 2011
Irish, Erin and Tucker
Home…. Home…. Home… I just love the way those words sound to me. This has been by far the longest hospital stay we have ever had. I’m estimating our bill at the fine “Hilton Inn” to be around $200,000 if not more.
Let me back track the past couple days so you can see how we got to where we are. On Sunday Justin call me and said “Honey, tomorrow after work why don’t I come up there and I’ll take the night shift with Tucker and you can go home and get some sleep.” I loved this idea, I LOVE my husbands willingness to trade with me and take over for a bit. So Monday rolled around and we went for our RTU experience… and let me just say that was an interesting experience. Now there are many of you saying “hey Amber, what’s RTU and how is it different?”. Ok, RTU stands for Rapid Treatment Unit- this is like “same day surgery” but… not really… this is a clinic where quick little tiny procedures can be done, a procedure that only takes a few minutes but that the kids need to be put to sleep for- like a Spinal Tap. A spinal tap is not a “surgical procedure” so we don’t have to go into surgery but we still need to put our kids asleep so there is an option of RTU. It’s quick, in & out and you have an anthologist there the whole time. The benefit is Tucker gets a better “mamma said knock you out” type of drugs- drugs that he has a quick wake up experience from- not the “hey mom, you’re a robot” for 20 minutes. The down side is they don’t let you (the mom) be with him in the room- that I don’t like so much. Anyways onto my experience, I was under the impression that we were getting a spinal and a bone marrow biopsy done and that’s why we were in RTU instead of our normal spinal in clinic- well Tuck and I get down there and all the nurses had wrote down was a spinal tap- I told them that must be wrong we can’t be here for just a simple spinal, we do all those in clinic- I thought for sure we were in for a bone marrow biopsy. So the doctor came in- I mean the Physician’s Assistant- and I told him please call and check with Dr. Afifie I’m sure we needed a bone marrow done- he came back like 2 minutes later and said he had confirmed with somebody else, a name I didn’t recognize, and said he just needed a spinal- WAIT let me set the scene- the Physician Assistant marched into the room 2 minutes later, looking highly annoyed, and said “I talked with so& so and they agreed that only a spinal tap chemo is needed!” and he whipped around and marched right out of the room before I could even take a breath! There were 2 other nurses and the anthologist still in the room- and it was very very quit- you could have heard a pin drop… they were waiting for me to react. The nice nurse looked at me and asked (in a whisper, as if not to provoke the animal) me if we just wanted to go back upstairs, I said No, we have come this far is 2pm and Tucker hasn’t ate all day- (I snapped at all of them) DOES THE DOC ALWAYS JUST MARCH OUT OF THE ROOM IN MID CONVERSATION??? I STILL HAD QUESTIONS!!! I looked at Tucker who looked just pathetic, I know he was hungry and had been such a good sport about not eating- so I looked at the nurses who looked afraid to move and I said- JUST GET IT DONE, NOW. They all just hopped into motion then and took Tuck out of the room. Now, there is so much of this stuff that I’m ok with and I can handle it very well- except for when he is taken from me in a place I can’t follow in a situation that is already emotionally charged- I mean, people this procedure was like 10 minutes long, if even that! And I started crying and I was pacing in the hall way- you would have thought he was getting open heart surgery or something. But soon the doors opened and I was allowed to hang with Tucker while he woke up. It was like mamma bear being reunited with baby cub- I just relaxed and it was all ok. Other than that Physicians Assistant being a complete Ass, turns out only a spinal was needed- this happens a lot up there- all of the doctors talk and leave me out of the loop. Well Dr. Afife caught up with me later and told me the spinal was ok without the bone marrow.
We get back up to our room and we look outside and the storm started rolling in- the wind, the snow- it was NASTY. We are on the 4th floor and we had ice/snow build up on our window! So I called Justin and told him to just stay home- its not worth the travel I’m ok for another night.
Well he took yesterday off of work so he could finish up Tucker’s new room…. As for me in the morning IN MARCHED IRISH- OH MY IRISH! Life just seems not so bad when you’re our nurse! Turns out he was “assigned’ to originally work on the 3rd floor, but when he found out that Tucker was still “in house” he went, pulled some strings and got switched to the 4th floor and demanded to be Tucker’s nurse. Can I just say I love that man? Our night nurse Rick, every night that he hasn’t been tucker’s nurse but has been working would make sure to “check in” with us and let us know he was there if I needed him…. I love these guys!
Anyways… Yesterday morning I went down for coffee and I came back up and my little nurse helper that Irish is training, Erin, came in and said the doctors came in while I was gone (ALWAYS COME WHEN I GO TO GET COFFEE! ITS LIKE THEY HAVE THIS 6TH SENSE- HEY THE MOM IS GONE! QUICK LETS ROUND IN HER ROOM WHILE SHE’S OUT!) and they started throwing around the “H” word….. I SAID….YOU MEAN THE “HOME” “H” WORD?! And she said- yep that’s the one! I had to sit down! I said ERIN, DON’T MESS WITH ME… REALLY? THEY SAID THAT “H” WORD?! And queue IRISH walking in with that HUGE smile- and he said FOR REAL- GOING HOME!! YOUR GOING HOME!!!! So I did what any mom in my situation would do- I started to cry… and Irish just chuckled… Erin looked like she dind’t know what to do (remember she’s a student)… and Irish just started to get Tucker worked up about going home… Tucker smiled- he almost laughed… he looked SO HAPPY to go home! Home!!!! I called Justin and said HEY, you ready for us? He said.. no, what do you mean? I said THEY ARE SENDING US HOME!!!! He was like REALLY? I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF THAT I NEED TO GET DONE!!!!!! And off he went frantically trying to finish Tucker’s room before we got home. I know he was so excited to have us coming home and secretly I think he was relieved he didn’t have to spend another night in the hospital.
This is a long post already- I’ll send another one later today about coming home.
Love you all- Amber
Aunt Charity, Uncle Scott and Tucker on Monday February 7, 2011
Going home smile February 8, 2011
Irish, Erin and Tucker
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
We Are Home!!!!!
Amber and Tucker got home today around 3pm! They said as of right now no more MRI unless he gets worse. They are so excited and were caught by surprise today with this great news.
Amber will update me more tonight when they get unpacked and settled in.
Thanks for all your prayers.
Amber will update me more tonight when they get unpacked and settled in.
Thanks for all your prayers.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Team Tucker
Team Tucker car decals are HERE!!! You can donate through payal just click the donate button. OR send me a check. Let me know how many you want when you order or send me an email.
We are asking for a $10 donation per decal but whatever you can donate will be great! Thanks for all your love and support. They still have a LONG road ahead of them and any little bit will help with gas, food and medical bills.
Don't look at my dirty truck, it is suppose to snow then I will wash it.
We are asking for a $10 donation per decal but whatever you can donate will be great! Thanks for all your love and support. They still have a LONG road ahead of them and any little bit will help with gas, food and medical bills.
Don't look at my dirty truck, it is suppose to snow then I will wash it.Sunday, February 6, 2011
Day...Ummm....9? Ya that's it!
Day#9… pretty uneventful, Tucker is doing ok. His pain in his head it seems is getting better. Well, better in a way that he can take ½ of his morphine dose and it will hold him all day long. Like today he got morphine at 9am (mornings are his worst time) and here it is 5pm and he hasn’t had another one. That is great! We even got up and he took a shower (seated & with lots of help) but he got up! Ya! He isn’t talking much- just simple statements like yes, no, and just basic words. I think this is more like he knows that he is slurring his words and thinking about what to say is hard for him to do right now, so he just opts to not speak. And that’s fine and all- but sure makes for one sided conversations between us. So I just keep talking and talking.
Yesterday we had Angie come up and visit and she was a big hit because she brought McDonalds with her! That is like Tucker’s food jackpot! Thanks Angie for the visit- its nice to have grown up talk every once and a while.
Today my co-workers and great friends showed up. Shawnleen and Alisha from my HCA came up bearing LOTS of gifts. Holy Cow- they sure spoiled him!! I mean it took like 30 minutes to get through the bags (yes more than one) of stuff! Tons of fun stuff- stuff to color, Slinky's, games, puzzles, candy, more candy, bubbles, toys and much much more. I mean WOW! You guys ROCK! Thanks Jennifer Thornock, they told me you helped out with the spoiling of Tucker. You guys are just too much! They even had a treat for me in there- dryer sheets for the laundry I do up here- you just never really know how important dryer sheets are until they are gone from your life-
If you take a look at the picture I took of Tucker today, the close up of his face, you can start to see the difference that the steroids are making to him. The steroids are responsible for the very round "butter ball" face look. He is just really starting to get the butter ball look right now- I can only imagine what he will look like in 3 more weeks. So keep a close eyes on the pictures and you can watch him change.
The good news is its of course all temporary, and as quickly as 3 to 4 days off of the steroids the side effects will reverse themselves and he'll go back to looking like our normal Tucker.
We have had a few of the therapy animals come up here. Man, they are COOL! These dogs are just something else! They hop up into bed with Tucker and they find his hand and nudge there head under his hand until Tucker gets the point and starts to pet them. This is great work for his coordination skills and the dogs help him as much as possible, of course this could be from the fact that Tucker has a treat in his hand for them…… We got a knock on our door the other day and it was from the Animal Therapy group and they asked us if we wanted to meet Bullet. I said sure bring him on it- and to my surprise Bullet is a cat! I’ve never meet a therapy cat before. I didn’t know there was a cat out there that could have that disposition to go into many strange rooms, with all sorts of different people and kids- with all sorts of reactions, and just- be ok? Have you ever met a cat that could cuddle up on a screaming child and go to sleep? Me neither- not that Tucker was the screaming kid, it was the kid before us apparently. Bullet came out of his crate and walked right up to Tucker’s arm pit and made a circle, and snuggled right up to him and tried to go to sleep. I was shocked! I’ve never ever seen a cat that could do that! I just love the therapy animals, and I know it makes Tucker smile- and perhaps a little home sick to get back to our crazy dogs at home.
Tomorrow Tucker is in for his chemo’s. Instead of doing an “awake sedation” for the spinal tap (that’s where I can be in the room through the whole thing) they are taking him down to the RTU clinic where he is put more deeply “under” in a surgical type way. They said it will be safer this way until they can confirm that Tucker’s brain is getting better. They will give him his spinal tap chemo and get another bone marrow biopsy. Then after he recovers from that we will come back up to our room for our normal chemo. I’m hoping that tomorrow they will give me a hint as to what day we are going to do the next MRI- assuming that his brain looks better- then we can go HOME HOME HOME! My hope is before Friday of this week.
Hope hope hope hope hope……. Home home home home……
Love you all, Amber
PS if anybody does Skype Tucker handle is FunnyTucker10. We haven’t really done it yet… but I’m hoping for this week I can get him up and going on Skype.
Elliot the Portuguese water dog
Bullet the therapy cat
Shawnleen and Alicia HCA family
Yesterday we had Angie come up and visit and she was a big hit because she brought McDonalds with her! That is like Tucker’s food jackpot! Thanks Angie for the visit- its nice to have grown up talk every once and a while.
Today my co-workers and great friends showed up. Shawnleen and Alisha from my HCA came up bearing LOTS of gifts. Holy Cow- they sure spoiled him!! I mean it took like 30 minutes to get through the bags (yes more than one) of stuff! Tons of fun stuff- stuff to color, Slinky's, games, puzzles, candy, more candy, bubbles, toys and much much more. I mean WOW! You guys ROCK! Thanks Jennifer Thornock, they told me you helped out with the spoiling of Tucker. You guys are just too much! They even had a treat for me in there- dryer sheets for the laundry I do up here- you just never really know how important dryer sheets are until they are gone from your life-
If you take a look at the picture I took of Tucker today, the close up of his face, you can start to see the difference that the steroids are making to him. The steroids are responsible for the very round "butter ball" face look. He is just really starting to get the butter ball look right now- I can only imagine what he will look like in 3 more weeks. So keep a close eyes on the pictures and you can watch him change.
The good news is its of course all temporary, and as quickly as 3 to 4 days off of the steroids the side effects will reverse themselves and he'll go back to looking like our normal Tucker.
We have had a few of the therapy animals come up here. Man, they are COOL! These dogs are just something else! They hop up into bed with Tucker and they find his hand and nudge there head under his hand until Tucker gets the point and starts to pet them. This is great work for his coordination skills and the dogs help him as much as possible, of course this could be from the fact that Tucker has a treat in his hand for them…… We got a knock on our door the other day and it was from the Animal Therapy group and they asked us if we wanted to meet Bullet. I said sure bring him on it- and to my surprise Bullet is a cat! I’ve never meet a therapy cat before. I didn’t know there was a cat out there that could have that disposition to go into many strange rooms, with all sorts of different people and kids- with all sorts of reactions, and just- be ok? Have you ever met a cat that could cuddle up on a screaming child and go to sleep? Me neither- not that Tucker was the screaming kid, it was the kid before us apparently. Bullet came out of his crate and walked right up to Tucker’s arm pit and made a circle, and snuggled right up to him and tried to go to sleep. I was shocked! I’ve never ever seen a cat that could do that! I just love the therapy animals, and I know it makes Tucker smile- and perhaps a little home sick to get back to our crazy dogs at home.
Tomorrow Tucker is in for his chemo’s. Instead of doing an “awake sedation” for the spinal tap (that’s where I can be in the room through the whole thing) they are taking him down to the RTU clinic where he is put more deeply “under” in a surgical type way. They said it will be safer this way until they can confirm that Tucker’s brain is getting better. They will give him his spinal tap chemo and get another bone marrow biopsy. Then after he recovers from that we will come back up to our room for our normal chemo. I’m hoping that tomorrow they will give me a hint as to what day we are going to do the next MRI- assuming that his brain looks better- then we can go HOME HOME HOME! My hope is before Friday of this week.
Hope hope hope hope hope……. Home home home home……
Love you all, Amber
PS if anybody does Skype Tucker handle is FunnyTucker10. We haven’t really done it yet… but I’m hoping for this week I can get him up and going on Skype.
Elliot the Portuguese water dog
Bullet the therapy cat
Shawnleen and Alicia HCA family
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